funny tweets

When it comes to this here tag of Funny Tweets, it consists of any attempt on Twitter at comedy, without the necessary qualifier of succeeding. We also keep a list of top funny tweets that might be more along the lines of what you're looking for if you want actual funny tweets.

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man complains on Twitter that he can't get a date despite having 700lbs. of beef a year | thumbnail Text - Dangerously Beefy @vickers_stephen 000 My housing is paid for. I make a good salary. I get health insurance, 401k, 700 Ibs of beef a year, and I live on a couple hundred acres. I'm a puncher by trade with a bachelors degree. And I swear you women would rather have a loser than a provider. It's sad

Man With 700lbs. Of Beef Can't Get A Date: Funny Twitter Thread

funniest dad tweets of the week | Text - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes. What the child hears: Get undressed. Start finger painting. Lose at least one shoe.

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (October 13, 2020)

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funniest dad tweets of the week - Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland Why would I pay for a haunted house when I can wake up to my kid silently standing by my bed at 5 AM.

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week

funny tweets about non-americans not understanding American Halloween | thumbnail Text - Quarantined & Spooked @MartinCAlonso Soooo do Americans actually put candles in their pumpkins for Halloween???

Non-Americans Do Not Understand American Halloween - 20 Tweets

funniest dad tweets of the week - Text - Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Me: It's National Daughter Day. 8-year-old: What did you get me? Me: Nothing. It's not a gift-giving holiday. 8: I'll remember that on Father's Day

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (September 29, 2020)

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Funny memes of Robert Pattinson standing in kitchen | text - spooky blm donny @_donnydrama we kicked this dude out of the party 6 times and somehow he keeps getting back in literally no one knows who he is

Robert Pattinson Standing In The Kitchen Memes Makes Great Material

funniest dad tweets of the week - Text - Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking I can clean my car, vacuum it squeaky clean. Put my kids in. Give them absolutely nothing and there's 52 lbs of crumbs in the seats when they get out. This is how I know children are 98% made up of crumbs.

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (September 22, 2020)

funniest women tweets we came across this week - Text - Rachel @femaleredhead girls be like "happy birthday to the craziest person i know" and it's just sarah

Funniest Tweets Written By Women Last Week (September 21, 2020)

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funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Text - mark @TheCatWhisprer Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me between 2 and 50 times and you're my 5yo getting out of bed at night.

Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (September 20, 2020)

funniest parenting tweets of the week - text - Kids_kubed +1 @Kids_kubed 7: Mommy, remember how I collect acorns in the fall? Me: Yes! You collected so many last year 7: and remember how I told you to keep them? Me: 7: Can I have them now? Me:

Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (September 13, 2020)

people share funniest memes of KUWTK ending on Twitter - cover pic | text - Ryan Warne @thouartvandelay Kris Jenner trying to become a chef since kuwtk is ending

Announcement Of KUWTK Ending Brings The Best Reactions From Twitter

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funniest relationship tweets of the week - cover pic | text - Satirical Mommy @MommySatirical Marriage tip: if your wife repeatedly asks why something is where it is - "It's not bothering anybody" is NOT the correct response

Funniest Relationship Tweets From This Week (September 11, 2020)

funniest dad tweets of the week- cover pic | Text - No Idea: Daddy Blog @byclintedwards I'm 3 kids and 13 years into parenting and I went to bed last night like an idiot assuming my 6yo would sleep in because she was up late, and now I want to yell at my earlier self "that's not how it works you dumbass! You're in hell, remember?" But I won't because l'm an optimist

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (August 8, 2020)

tweets of dumb things people overheard at movie theaters | tweet about 127 hours movie @ Save CJ @oboe_cop Replying to @shutupmikeginn I went to see 127 hours at the cinema. Part way through a lady in the row behind me said l hope he's not going to be stuck behind that rock for the whole film

Twitter Users Reveal Ridiculous Statements Overheard At The Movie Theater

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funniest tweets written by women - cover pic | Agnes @Agnessjon Just when I thought this year couldn't get any worse I just heard on the news that we might be able to have family dinners as usual this Christmas

Funniest Tweets Written By Women Last Week (September 7, 2020)

funniest relationship tweets of the week - cover pic tweet @cheers27402373 I've never been to hell, but I once hung out with a newly engaged couple who called each other 'Babe' every 5 minutes

Funniest Relationship Tweets From This Week (September 4, 2020)

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17-year-old exposes father spending his child support money on stepsiblings, mother gets involved and gains full custody over her son, leading to family falling out

17-year-old exposes father spending his child support money on stepsiblings, mother gets involved and gains full custody over her son, leading to family falling out

22 Exhausted Introvert Memes That Accurately Depict the Desire to be Alone

22 Exhausted Introvert Memes That Accurately Depict the Desire to be Alone

Guy Still Holds Onto His Old Teacher's Act of Kindness

Guy Still Holds Onto His Old Teacher's Act of Kindness

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