Twitter Thread

Favorite

People Tweet About Their Weirdest, Most Awkward First Dates Ever

Almost every person has been on or will go on a bad date at some point in their life. I believe that awkward dates are a natural part of life, much like gravity and sunset. If you've done well enough to avoid one until now, I commend you. Honestly, you have dodged one of life's greatest bullets. But if you have a plethora of lousy date tales to tell, then welcome to the club. It's a magical place. Another Valentines Day has just come and gone, and if, like me, you were sat at home without a valentine, then these tweets about people's 'Weird, uncomfortable, funny, awkward, and ultimately entertaining' bad dates, will make you feel better about being single.

people reveal their weirdest dating stories | thumbnail text - texasblonde @texasblonde22 Replying LizerReal Went meet guy stopped and sat on bench. He grabbed my keys and started playing with my pepper spray and pepper sprayed himself face. Date over.
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

People Reveal Funniest Things They've Heard Others Say In Their Sleep

If you've ever slept next to someone who talks in their sleep, you'll know how utterly terrifying (but also hilarious) it can be. Seeing someone suddenly sit up straight in a zombie-like trance, eyes open, and utter total nonsense is not only terrifying but can be annoying, especially if it's woken you up. But all-in-all, it's more funny, than anything else, and these people are proving that by sharing the funniest things they've heard other people say in their sleep.

people share the funniest things they've heard others say in their sleep | thumbnail Text - Joanna Hardy @Joanna_Hardy 00 Good morning to everyone except my partner who, at 2am, mid-dream, sat bolt upright in bed and terrifyingly shouted into the dark: "Will there be a buffet?" 9:44 AM Jan 5, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 9.9K Retweets 1.8K Quote Tweets 166.2K Likes Mark Blacklock 000 @MarxMedia Replying to @Joanna_Hardy Much better than a partner who rises bolt upright slowly, silently as if from t
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Advertisement
Favorite

Women Reveal The Biggest Red Flags They Ignored In Relationships

Aah, that blissful feeling of being in love — it's a beautiful thing, but it doesn't come without its complications. At one point or another, many of us will have found ourselves in questionable relationships where we put up with behaviors we shouldn't have—speaking for a friend, of course. The rose-colored glasses we wear in relationships can blind us to some pretty glaringly obvious red flags, which we can only see clearly once the relationship has ended. On the bright side, we can use them as learning experiences of what not to ignore when it comes to our next relationship. A tweet asking people to share the biggest red flags they ignored in relationships has revealed some hilarious responses, which might make you relate to any previous sh*t shows you dated in the past. What were some red flags you ignored?



people share the biggest red flags they ignored in relationships | thumbnail Text - obj @objsucks 000 what's the biggest red flag you ever ignored? i'll start. i dated a guy who drank vodka milks. not white russians. vodka with ice and whole milk. that's on me. 11:42 PM Dec 27, 2020 Twitter for iPhone 12.5K Retweets 13.5K Quote Tweets 326.4K Likes, Thank Dog! M @Stephanie_KJ 000 Replying to @objsucks I dated a guy who used to share a single chocolate with his mother in the evening after su
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

People Reveal Weird Childhood Beliefs

As children, we form our views and ideas of the world based on the information we receive. Or, more realistically, on what we extrapolate from the truth, which is usually total nonsense.  Then, we grow up, learn more about the world and how it works, and realize that what we used to believe was just not true. But it's fun to look back and remember the bizarre things we used to think before we learned the real ways of the world. A Twitter thread started by writer Kristin Arnett has sparked people to reveal the utterly ridiculous things they believed as kids before the ugly truth set in.

people share their bizarre childhood beliefs | thumbnail Text - Moose Friend @sarahthemoose Replying to @Kristen Arnett My dad told me the appendix was an organ our cavemen ancestors needed to hold rocks to grind up their food I was TWENTY TWO about to go in for emergency surgery, crying "I've never even eaten any rocks" when the ER docs had a good laugh at me 5:08 PM · Dec 20, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone >
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Tweets Showing Kids Roasting Adults Over Text

Texting with teenagers always comes with the risk that they'll respond the same way they do in person: in monosyllabic grunts. And nothing is more infuriating than a teenager who doesn't communicate and makes you feel like a total idiot for just trying to have a conversation with them. Comedian Maggie Widdoes shared her experience on Twitter of texting a 13-year-old in her life a lovely "Happy birthday" message, only to receive "yeah" in response. Her tweet sparked other people to share their experience of texting teenage kids, siblings, nieces, and nephews and only receiving silence or one-word answers in reply. They prove one thing, and one thing only— kids are brutal!

adults tweet how kids are roasting them over Text | thumbnail Text - Maggie Widdoes @mwidds Don't text the 13 year olds in your life happy birthday unless you're ready to get full bodied curb stomped in return Testerday oI FM HAPPY BIRTHDAY P!!! hope you guys are celebrating somewhere on the road Read Yesterday Yesterday 8:25 PM Yeah iMessage 5:33 AM Dec 16, 2020 · Twitter Web App 1.8K Retweets 652 Quote Tweets 69.4K Likes, Robby Russell @robbyrussell Replying to @mwidds Heya! How's your weekend
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Advertisement
Favorite

People Reveal Ridiculous Things They Did When They Were 'In Love'

Being in love can make you do crazy things and make sacrifices you never thought you'd make. But, as anyone who has been in love knows, once that good ol' Oxytocin kicks in, it's goodbye, old sensible self, and hello, brave reckless new self.

This phenomenon of being recklessly in love, was proved in a recent crazy interview with a former journalist named Christie Smythe, who fell in love with Martin Shkreli — the infamous former pharmaceutical fraudster. It describes how Smythe, who, at the time, was married to a successful investment manager, began covering Shkreli's case after he was arrested for various fraud counts. To give you an idea, hiking up a necessary HIV medication price by 5,000 percent was within his repertoire of offenses. He sounds like a standup guy, right? In the interview, Smythe reveals that she left her husband, quit her job, and froze her eggs all for Shkreli, who subsequently broke up with her. The guy is now serving seven years in jail. The story prompted Twitter user @literElly to ask her followers, "In light of the Shkreli story, what is the most ridiculous or embarrassing thing you ever did to be with a partner who wasn't worth it or didn't deserve you?" And oh boy, did the replies come pouring in. Here are some of the best, which are truly relatable AF.

people share the ridiculous things they did for losers they were in love with | thumbnail Text - Christmas trees & COVID vaccines @teedotham Replying to @literElly At twenty-and-one-whole-idiot years old, a guy asked me to pretend to be a delivery person and take his ex [who he was trying to win back] flowers and a bear. My ass walked into a lecture hall and she clocked me IMMEDIATELY, then pulled me out in the hall to yell at me [..fair]. 5:37 AM Dec 21, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Tweets About Being A Woman Without Saying 'Woman'

A tweet asking women to "Tell me you're a woman without telling me you're a woman" has gone viral. And not necessarily for positive reasons. Hundreds of women commented, describing their experiences of being women without revealing their gender in a sentence or two. The majority of comments pointed out an inequality, discrimination, or assumption that they face from the world as a woman, whether it was about their safety when walking alone, the pressures of motherhood, or their career prospects. Here are some of the comments, which show just how far the world still needs to go regarding women's equality.

twitter thread of women describing being a woman without using the word woman | thumbnail Text - Sanjana Singh @filmy_singh A whole market thrives on my insecurities about my body O Gayatri @jestme Dec 10 Tell me you're a woman without telling me you're a woman. Show this thread 12:00 PM Dec 11, 2020 Twitter Web App >
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Celebs And Their Kids Looking Identical: Twitter Thread

Reese Witherspoon and 21-year-old daughter Ava Phillippe are about as much proof as possible that genetics work. Ivy Park Beam tweeted a holiday photo of the mother-daughter pair, saying, "I know this is how genes work but wow." The pair, who look strikingly similar, aren't the only celebrities who bear a strong resemblance to their kids, and people started posting similar pics on the thread of other celebs. Scroll down to see how strong these celeb genes really are.

twitter thread of celebs and their kids who look identical | thumbnail Text - Ivy Park Beam @ScottieBeam I know this is how genes work but WOW 9:33 pm · 07/12/2020 · Twitter for iPhone 16.4K Retweets 4,219 Quote Tweets 259K Likes @fbombs_ Replying ScottieBeam happens guys 3:49 pm 08/12/2020 Twitter Android 10 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 761 Likes
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Advertisement
Favorite

Kids Describing Their Parent's Jobs: Funny Twitter Thread

One day, I was about seven-years-old when my dad brought me home a bunch of spare stationery from his office. We're talking highlighters, sticky notes, pens, and a stapler. The next day, I went to school and told my teacher that my dad's job was a 'pen tester,' and he sat all day testing out pens to see if they work. His actual job? A marketing director. Oh, to be that blissfully naive again. The phrase 'truth from the mouth of babes' is a reality that many parents live each day. Someone Tweeted, "My friend's daughter was asked by her teacher what does her mother do for a living. Miss thing said move papers around and talk on the phone. My friend is a judge." It received thousands of likes and shares, with people responding with similar funny examples of what they think their parents do for a living. Kids really do say the darndest things!



kids describe their parents jobs in funny twitter thread | thumbnail Text - Household Government @LadyBugAssassin My friend's daughter was asked by her teacher what does her mother do for a living. Miss thing said move papers around and talk on the phone. My friend is a judge. 9 11:03 PM Oct 19, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 14.8K Retweets 678 Quote Tweets 130.5K Likes >
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Large Servings Of Food Movie Goers Snuck Into Theatres: Twitter Thread

Back in the not-so-distant-past when movie theatres were open, there was nothing better than going to your local cinema with your gal pals on a Saturday night, armed with snacks to watch the latest rom-com. A big bucket of sweet and salty popcorn and two hours of Matthew McConaughey? Yes, please! But one thing that never failed to enhance our cinematic experience was the thrill of sneaking real food into the movie theatre and getting away with it. Whether it was a slice of pizza in our purse or a burrito up our sleeve, everything tasted better when we knew we'd snuck it past security. Twitter user @LocalSoundwave asked people to share the foods they've snuck into movie theatres, and the responses reveal just how daring people are. Oh, the guilty thrills of doing something wrong!


funny twitter thread about craziest foods people snuck into movie theatres | thumbnail Text - jessica rose marie @Catholic_Rose Replying to @LocalSoundwave Once I sat next to a lady that looked pregnant. Then she pulled half a seran wrapped watermelon out from under her shirt and started eating it with a spoon from her purse. 7:02 AM Dec 4, 2020 - Twitter Web App 65 Retweets 15 Quote Tweets 2.5K Likes
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Heartwarming Twitter Thread Of How People Met Their Partners

People meet their significant others in all types of ways. Whether it's on a dating app, through friends, or a chance happening, they say love appears when you least expect it. So when Twitter user @jreganwilliams posted, "I may have asked this before, but how did you meet your partner? I love hearing the stories", people jumped at the chance to share the adorable love stories. And adorable, they indeed were. Enjoy reading these short tales of how love can emerge out of nowhere and catch you by pleasant surprise.

heartwarming stories of how people met their partners | thumbnail Text - Cheryl Strayed @CherylStrayed 9/24/95: I was broke so I sold my things at a friend's yard sale. A handsome man rode up on a bicycle and bought a pencil sharpener in the shape of an airplane from me. We flirted. He invited me to join him and his friend for dinner that night. I did. His friend is my husband. Jennifer Williams @jreganwilliams Sep 6 I may have asked this before but how did you meet your partner? I
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Advertisement
Favorite

Twitter Debate As Tampax Celebrates ‘All People Who Bleed’, In Inclusive Period Campaign

As the world is becoming more and more 'woke,' companies are doing their best to be as inclusive as possible. Corporations are being careful to avoid discrimination of any kind, with some going out of their way to prove just how inclusive they are. Tampax, who in a recent attempt to be inclusive towards trans-people who may still experience periods despite their gender, tweeted, "Fact: Not all women have periods. Also a fact: Not all people with periods are women. Let's celebrate the diversity of all people who bleed!"

The tweet was received mixed reviews and created somewhat of a stir on Twitter, with nearly 30k people commenting. The feminists claimed Tampax's dismissal of women, their primary market, and the only gender who can scientifically menstruate, to be offensive and misogynistic. They especially didn't react well to women being referred to as "people who bleed". But others commended Tampax for their inclusivity, labeling the feminists as 'transphobes', who were confusing sex with gender and denying trans people a period experience. Here are some of the tweets below which show people's responses to the controversial tweet.

Debate on Twitter as Tampax creates inclusive campaign for all people who bleed | thumbnail text - Tampax O @Tampax 000 TAMPAX Fact: Not all women have periods. Also a fact: Not all people with periods are women. Let's celebrate the diversity of all people who bleed! V9: @gobeeharris #mythbusting #periodtruths #transisbeautiful 2:31 AM Sep 16, 2020 · Twitter Web App 2.5K Retweets 8K Quote Tweets 13.7K Likes Buffy the misogynist slayer (cervix haver) @Opiumbrella Replying to @Tampax and @gobeehar
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Man With 700lbs. Of Beef Can't Get A Date: Funny Twitter Thread

Everyone is looking for different things in a life partner, and everyone knows what they bring to the table. But sometimes, it's better to keep your assets to yourself instead of assuming that you know what your potential suitors want, especially if it makes you sound like a bit of a d-bag. One guy learned this the hard way when he took to Twitter to vent his frustrations about being single, despite all his assets. His Tweet said, "My housing is paid for. I make a good salary. I get health insurance, 401k, 700 lbs of beef a year, and I live on a couple hundred acres. I'm a puncher by trade with a bachelor's degree. And I swear you women would rather have a loser than a provider. It's sad"

Twitter roasted him mercilessly, men and women alike and the responses are hilarious. We've compiled some of the funniest ones for you below to scroll through and laugh at.

 

man complains on Twitter that he can't get a date despite having 700lbs. of beef a year | thumbnail Text - Dangerously Beefy @vickers_stephen 000 My housing is paid for. I make a good salary. I get health insurance, 401k, 700 Ibs of beef a year, and I live on a couple hundred acres. I'm a puncher by trade with a bachelors degree. And I swear you women would rather have a loser than a provider. It's sad
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Ridiculous Pictograph Of Average Female Height Per Country: Funny Twitter Thread

A pictograph showing the average women's height per country has gone viral for its ridiculous scale representation. Depicting giant 5'5" Latvian women towering above tiny 5'0" Indian women, people are ruthlessly roasting the graph in a hilarious Twitter thread. Initially posted by @reina_sabah, she wrote, "As an Indian woman, I can confirm that too much of my time is spent hiding behind a rock praying the terrifying gang of international giant ladies and their Latvian general don't find me." Fellow Twitter users found the graphic equally as insulting, baffling, and absurd and have some witty comebacks in response. Check out some of the funniest ones below.


funny infographic showing women's average height in each country | thumbnail - Text - Text - Sabah Ibrahim @reina_sabah As an Indian woman, I can confirm that too much of my time is spent hiding behind a rock praying the terrifying gang of international giant ladies and their Latvian general don't find me
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Advertisement
Favorite

People Let Their Keyboards Autocomplete Apologies, Funny Twitter Thread

I think everyone can admit that technology has essentially taken over our lives, and we are now ruled by our phones. And it's not just the younger generation; it's all of us, whether we like to admit it or not. But for all the good that technology does, one thing it can't do is express real human emotion, however much it may try. And autocomplete certainly does try. I'm sure we can all count on two hands the number of times autocorrect has f*cked us over in a text conversation? Twitter user @NihachuEatsCats put this to the test and Tweeted, "type "I'm sorry for being" and let your keyboard finish it for you." The results, were of course, bizarre. Check some of them out below.

funny twitter thread of people letting their keyboards autocomplete their apologies | Text - Karma @OniRevenant Im sorry for being so late to the other penis party ash @NihachuEatsCats · Sep 17 type "I'm sorry for being" and let your keyboard finish it for you
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

People's Stories Of Finding Success Over The Age Of 40

Although people typically map out their career path in their 20's, not everyone is fortunate enough to figure out their life's calling at such a young age. Whether it be down to lack of opportunity, becoming a parent and not working, or just not figuring it out sooner, many people only decide what they want to do much later in life. Those who return to school and start a new career at an older age need a tremendous amount of tenacity and determination and should be admired. One guy, Doug Murano, wanted to celebrate these people and tweeted that he was "tired of "under 40" lists," he called for Twitter users to "Show me someone who got their Ph.D. at 60 after losing everything. Give me the 70-year-old debut novelist who writes from a lifetime of love and grief. Give me calloused hands and tender hearts." People were eager to share their 'over-40' success stories, which were the definition of heartwarming. Here are some of the best.

people share stories of finding success over the age of 40 | Text - Jan Owen @janjowen Replying to @muranofiction My husband died when I was 48. I finished my bachelors at 50 and started grad school at 51. I graduated at almost 54. Then I started a counseling private practice. So- new degree, new business, new career.
View List
  • -
  • Vote
  • -