Twitter Thread

Advertisement

people share the funniest things they've heard others say in their sleep | thumbnail Text - Joanna Hardy @Joanna_Hardy 00 Good morning to everyone except my partner who, at 2am, mid-dream, sat bolt upright in bed and terrifyingly shouted into the dark: "Will there be a buffet?" 9:44 AM Jan 5, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 9.9K Retweets 1.8K Quote Tweets 166.2K Likes Mark Blacklock 000 @MarxMedia Replying to @Joanna_Hardy Much better than a partner who rises bolt upright slowly, silently as if from t

People Reveal Funniest Things They've Heard Others Say In Their Sleep

people reveal genius hacks for getting out of submitting homework on time | thumbnail text - Janine ... @jsbalek Replying to @TheMikeChase I actually convinced my fifth grade teacher that I submitted a massive project we all were supposed to have been working on for weeks that I never did and she just lost it. I can't believe I had the nerve. 5:54 AM · Jul 2, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

People Reveal Genius Hacks For Getting Out Of Submitting Homework On Time

Advertisement

tom ellis as a cat | thumbnail text - comfort for ellis stans! @ellislovebot #TOMELLIS as a cat; mini thrend. 10:28 PM · Jun 15, 2021 · Twitter for Android

Twitter Thread Reveals Lucifer's Tom Ellis Is Secretly A Cat

funny texts about men apologizing Text - Lemon of Lime @EMaietta Replying to @aj_fairley *pretends nothing happened* Oh, you're still mad? I thought we were past that

Funny Twitter Thread Poking Fun At How Some Men Apologize

funny tweets about feral things people have been doing during quarantine | Text - KDramasNSilents @KDramasNSilents Replying to @drewtoothpaste Ate an entire diced raw cabbage out if a bowl cuz i got tired partway through prep and didn't want to cook anymore. And then I did it again with the cabbage i bought to replace that cabbage.

People Confess 'Most Feral Thing' They Did Over Past Six Months, Funny Twitter Thread

Advertisement

people share their bizarre childhood beliefs | thumbnail Text - Moose Friend @sarahthemoose Replying to @Kristen Arnett My dad told me the appendix was an organ our cavemen ancestors needed to hold rocks to grind up their food I was TWENTY TWO about to go in for emergency surgery, crying "I've never even eaten any rocks" when the ER docs had a good laugh at me 5:08 PM · Dec 20, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone >

People Reveal Weird Childhood Beliefs

kids describe their parents jobs in funny twitter thread | thumbnail Text - Household Government @LadyBugAssassin My friend's daughter was asked by her teacher what does her mother do for a living. Miss thing said move papers around and talk on the phone. My friend is a judge. 9 11:03 PM Oct 19, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 14.8K Retweets 678 Quote Tweets 130.5K Likes >

Kids Describing Their Parent's Jobs: Funny Twitter Thread

man complains on Twitter that he can't get a date despite having 700lbs. of beef a year | thumbnail Text - Dangerously Beefy @vickers_stephen 000 My housing is paid for. I make a good salary. I get health insurance, 401k, 700 Ibs of beef a year, and I live on a couple hundred acres. I'm a puncher by trade with a bachelors degree. And I swear you women would rather have a loser than a provider. It's sad

Man With 700lbs. Of Beef Can't Get A Date: Funny Twitter Thread

Advertisement

funny infographic showing women's average height in each country | thumbnail - Text - Text - Sabah Ibrahim @reina_sabah As an Indian woman, I can confirm that too much of my time is spent hiding behind a rock praying the terrifying gang of international giant ladies and their Latvian general don't find me

Ridiculous Pictograph Of Average Female Height Per Country: Funny Twitter Thread

people share stories of finding success over the age of 40 | Text - Jan Owen @janjowen Replying to @muranofiction My husband died when I was 48. I finished my bachelors at 50 and started grad school at 51. I graduated at almost 54. Then I started a counseling private practice. So- new degree, new business, new career.

People's Stories Of Finding Success Over The Age Of 40

funny tweets of Michael's store website online chat function with customers

Michaels’ Store Website Has Function To Chat With Other Shoppers: Funny Twitter Thread

Advertisement

twitter thread of people revealing their age without numbers | @ddtorrez28 #RevealYourAgeWithoutNumbers My after school specials were these shows Calliou Arthur Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman | Ashley @CookiesNCyanide #RevealYourAgeWithoutNumbers trying write on one these not smear all over place

People Reveal Their Age Without Numbers - Twitter Thread

twitter thread about what to do before getting married - cover pic define what cheating is | Saag Jaan @cxkenobxkerry DONT GET MARRIED BEFORE thread | is cheating? Entanglements? Define breaks? Breakups?

"Don't Get Married Before..." - Viral Twitter Thread

tweets about the Metro UK challenging themselves to spend Jeff Bezos' net worth | Amazon founder Jeff Bezos records yesterday as saw the largest ever growth in wealth in day. mogul a whopping $13 billion dollars in 24 hours. bringing his net worth to S 189.3 bdlbn. THREAD) | We still have a lot to spend. So how can dent this obscene sum? Jeff needs a fighter jet, because what billionaire CEO doesn't need a small army at his disposal. Ten F-22 Raptors. That should do it. $1.4 billion.

Metro UK Try (And Fail) To Spend Net Worth Of Jeff Bezos, Founder Of Amazon - Twitter Thread

Advertisement

Twitter Thread listing Negative Health Effects Caused By Lack Of Sleep - cover image tweet listing reasons why sleep is bad | aiko @1chigoko consistently sleeping less than 6-7 hrs wrecks immune system doubles risk cancer sleep is key factor determining if will develop Alzheimer's improper sleep even week will disrupt sleep enough could be classified as pre-diabetic 10:22 AM Jun 24, 2020 Twitter iPhone >

Twitter Thread On The Negative Health Effects Caused By Lack Of Sleep

funny twitter thread on why babies are problematic - cover pic ash @ARTSHL3Y 3) they especially prey on women. women lose sleep, their own BODILY FLUIDS, and sanity all just these misogynists are still allowing and supporting this 7:00 PM May 9, 2019 Twitter iPhone

Satirical Twitter Thread About Why Babies Are Problematic

Trending Now

Parent excludes son's wife from kayaking trip because she can't swim, she takes it personally despite valid safety concerns: 'If she learns how to swim, she can come next year'

Parent excludes son's wife from kayaking trip because she can't swim, she takes it personally despite valid safety concerns: 'If she learns how to swim, she can come next year'

27 Harry Potter Memes for Mischievous Hogwarts Ladies Searching for Their Chosen One

27 Harry Potter Memes for Mischievous Hogwarts Ladies Searching for Their Chosen One

Woman gets fired on the spot for getting entitled coworker arrested for stealing her $1800 ergonomic office chair: 'He refused. So I called the cops'

Woman gets fired on the spot for getting entitled coworker arrested for stealing her $1800 ergonomic office chair: 'He refused. So I called the cops'

College girl cashier humbles a 40-year-old man after he belittles 'her generation's' inability to count back change: 'Looks like I do know how to count, sir'

College girl cashier humbles a 40-year-old man after he belittles 'her generation's' inability to count back change: 'Looks like I do know how to count, sir'

Just a Bunch Of Brilliant One liners Tweeted By The Funniest People Of Twitter

Just a Bunch Of Brilliant One liners Tweeted By The Funniest People Of Twitter

Advertisement