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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (October 25, 2020)

They say it takes a village to raise a child... and nowadays, that village is Twitter. It has become the place for parents to turn to vent their frustrations, air their grievances, and seek much-needed empathy for the trials and tribulations that parenting brings. Here are the funniest parenting tweets we found this week, and here are last week's in case you missed them.



funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Text - hat Mom Tho 000 @mom_tho parenting young kids includes wishing they'd be quiet and anxiety rising when they are
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (October 18, 2020)

Another week has gone by, which means another week of parents struggling to do their best as their kids test their patience day after day. Thank goodness for Twitter, which serves as an outlet for parents to get sympathy, empathy, and advice from other parents who are also winging the parenting journey. We've put together another list of funniest parenting tweets we came across this week to make you hopefully feel somewhat less alone in your parenting trials and tribulations. And here are last week's in case you missed them.




funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Text - LizerReal My 5yo named her new kitten Penis. Penis is female.
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List Of Things Women Would Do In A Manless World

It's a sad state of affairs when women, upon being asked what they would do if there were no men in the world for 24 hours, reply with "Go on walks at night," and "Feel safe, I guess." The fundamental human right to feel safe and protected is not a privilege that women are guaranteed, and something needs to change. A tweet went viral on Twitter, saying, "Saw a Tiktok that said, what would you do if there were no men on earth for 24 hours.. here was the comment section", followed by the sad eyes emoji, which was apropos because the comments are truly sad. Check out what women said they would do in a man-free world for 24 hours, highlighting the real lack of safety that women feel daily. Men, step it up, for the sake of humanity!


tweet revealing list of things women would feel safe to do in a world free of men for 24 hours | Text - veronica @wxixp saw a Tiktok that said, what would you do if there were no men on earth for 24 hours... here was the comment section
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People's Stories Of Finding Success Over The Age Of 40

Although people typically map out their career path in their 20's, not everyone is fortunate enough to figure out their life's calling at such a young age. Whether it be down to lack of opportunity, becoming a parent and not working, or just not figuring it out sooner, many people only decide what they want to do much later in life. Those who return to school and start a new career at an older age need a tremendous amount of tenacity and determination and should be admired. One guy, Doug Murano, wanted to celebrate these people and tweeted that he was "tired of "under 40" lists," he called for Twitter users to "Show me someone who got their Ph.D. at 60 after losing everything. Give me the 70-year-old debut novelist who writes from a lifetime of love and grief. Give me calloused hands and tender hearts." People were eager to share their 'over-40' success stories, which were the definition of heartwarming. Here are some of the best.

people share stories of finding success over the age of 40 | Text - Jan Owen @janjowen Replying to @muranofiction My husband died when I was 48. I finished my bachelors at 50 and started grad school at 51. I graduated at almost 54. Then I started a counseling private practice. So- new degree, new business, new career.
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People Reveal Weirdest Places They Got Hit On

It takes guts to ask someone out. Chatting up strangers can be pretty daunting, and it requires an art of subtlety that not everyone has mastered. People share the weirdest places someone has hit on them, revealing some highly inappropriate answers. Honestly, people, read the room, don't be a creep, and maybe someone will eventually agree to go out with you. Maybe.

people reveal weirdest places they were hit on - cover pic | Text - Anna Seg @anna_seg Replying to @kthorjensen In the break room during a large group company orientation DIRECTLY AFTER WATCHING the sexual harassment train. Dude literally started by saying "I don't want to sound like the guy in the video..."
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Woman Engaged To Random Man Who Told Her To Find A BF On Twitter

They say that if you go searching for love, you won't find it. Instead, it's best to focus on living your best life, and the right one will present themselves in the most unexpected circumstances. But sometimes, love can manifest itself in a way you never thought possible even when you search for it. One couple who knows a thing or two about this are Twitter users @KatieKatCubs and @TBrown_80, who have just got engaged three years after meeting on Twitter. Terry replied to Katie's tweet about her despair in finding a man, telling her that the best place to find love was Twitter. He wasn't wrong! Read their crazy story below.

Story of Woman who got Engaged To Random Man Who Told Her To Find A BF On Twitter - cover pic | twitter conversation bad Katie @KatieKatCubs Asked married guys at work where meet single guys. Here's they came up with 1. Strip club 2. Any bar, anywhere at 1:30am
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Twitter Users Reveal Ridiculous Statements Overheard At The Movie Theater

Remember the days when we could watch movies in the theater without a care in the world? Our biggest worry was which size popcorn to get (large obviously) or where to sit (back row, middle seats, duh). But those days are distant memories, and who knows when we'll be allowed back into theaters. We wouldn't even mind the obnoxious idiots who talk throughout the movie, or who have their phones on loud—just bring back normality, please! Joining us in movie theater nostalgia is writer Mike Ginn, who recently tweeted: "The thing I miss most about movie theaters is overhearing someone say the dumbest f—king thing I've ever heard before the previews start." His tweet went viral, and he received thousands of replies from people, all sharing the dumbest things they've overheard at the movies. What's yours?

tweets of dumb things people overheard at movie theaters | tweet about 127 hours movie @ Save CJ @oboe_cop Replying to @shutupmikeginn I went to see 127 hours at the cinema. Part way through a lady in the row behind me said l hope he's not going to be stuck behind that rock for the whole film
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Mom Shames Target For Selling Vibrator And Gets Roasted: Twitter Thread

The internet has the power to make things go viral for all sorts of reasons, and sometimes we come across something on the world wide web that is too good not to share with you. Get ready for this gem: a woman posted a complaint on Target's Facebook page, expressing her displeasure at the store's blatant selling of vibrators, "Front and center for little eyes to see. A vibrator that you can stick in BOTH holes. Because that is appropriate for little ones to see while shopping for vitamins." Read: prude woman feels uncomfortable that a mainstream store is normalizing women's sexual pleasure. Twitter user @kittynouveau posted the complaint on her account, and it instantly went viral, because, well, it's hilarious.

Let's break this down for a minute. Firstly, the vibrators were displayed in the sexual wellness aisle with condoms and lube, and not in the children's toy aisle, as she was making it out to be. If you don't want your kids to see it, don't bring them to that store section. It's that simple. Secondly, she obviously has no idea how a dual vibrating massager works because I don't know which holes she refers to when she says, "A vibrator that you can stick in BOTH holes." I'm going to go ahead and assume that she thinks one wand is for your butthole. Newsflash: one wand is for vaginal insertion, and the other one is for external stimulation. Not butts involved (unless you try really hard). Anyway, Twitter blew up when they saw the post, and the reactions to the complaint are hilarious. Check them out below.

twitter thread roasting mom who shamed target for selling vibrator - cover photo original facebook post from mom complaining about vibrator | Misty Soulard Target 3h • Target sinks to a new low in it's hatred of parents, children, families and anything appropriate. Front and center for little eyes to see. A vibrator that you can stick in BOTH holes. Because that is appropriate for little ones to see while shopping for vitamins. Shame on you. Again.
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (August 23, 2020)

Being a parent is a tough gig, and venting about all the hardships it entails is a healthy outlet for the inevitable frustration of the job. And what better place to vent than Twitter, the home of roasts and a place where you'll find the validation, solace, and sympathy you seek from fellow parents. Here are this week's funniest parenting Tweets, and last week's in case you missed them.

funniest parenting tweets of the week - cover pic tweet | Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal Being great mom: scheduling doctor's appointments, keeping track school projects, setting up playdates, making sure everyone brushes their teeth Being great dad: popsicles lunch
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Collection of Tweets About The Endless Joys of 7-Year-Old's

A very specific age that comes with a higher level of sass, more intriguing questions, and overall, just a bunch of madness. 

Luckily for us, parents document these precious moments and share them with the world via Twitter. 

kids 7 tweets funny twitter year olds lol parenting parents relatable | tweet by Jessie @mommajessiec My son asked my 7yo she would survive bear attack and she replied she would try be his friend, thus making her most adorable my children but also least likely survive an encounter with an actual bear.
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Painfully True Tweets About Having to Work

These tweets are super funny and unfortunately, very true or in other words: "Having a job is cool til you gotta go to work"

And by "having to go to work" it's more like having to roll out of bed and go sit at your desk in your living room, or on the couch, or wherever really. It all comes down to one thing...work. At this point, we kinda miss actually having to get dressed and going to work. At least to have some kind of action. But, also we know once it is time for that, we will still not be happy. It's a no-win situation at this point. 

Funny tweets about working | dirt prince @pant_leg get so mad people ask gonna do on my day off bitch gonna recover all my days on
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Turns Out, Macaulay Culkin Is One Of The Funniest Tweeters

We all know Macaulay Culkin as the wonder kid from Home Alone, but who knew his acting skills would blossom into full-blown hilarity? It turns out that the guy is pretty hilarious, and each of his Tweets is a 280-character comedy show in itself. Scroll through and you'll see what I mean. 

Macaulay Culkin funniest tweets | Macaulay Culkin @IncredibleCulk Here's some things doing instead watching oscars 1. Making ramen | Macaulay Culkin o @IncredibleCulk This is an updated Home Alone would actually look like.
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (August 16, 2020)

We're in the middle of summer vacation, and it shows. How? Because parents on Twitter are more ruthless, desperate, sarcastic, and frustrated than ever. And it makes sense; it's not like they haven't been 'homeschooling' their kids for the past four months BEFORE they started summer break, right? It's a tough time to be a parent, and we sympathize! Browse through the funniest parenting tweets we found this week, and then check out last weeks, in case you missed them. 

funniest parenting tweets of the week - cover pic tweet by mom about asking her 4-year-old kid to hold her beer | Not Nanny @not_thenanny brought my beer park and wanted do zipline so literally asked my 4YO hold my beer think just peaked at bad momming.
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (August 9, 2020)

Kids are true delights. Until they're not. You know the drill. Rationally, you know you love your kids unconditionally, but sometimes, just sometimes, they really know how to push your buttons to the max. It's in those moments you really question how deep your love really is for them. These funny parents of Twitter are the voices for all the parents out there who are being driven to the brink of their sanity by their offspring. And in case you missed last week\s funniest parenting tweets of the week, here they are

funniest parenting tweets - tweet about kids being kidnapped by pirates and arguing who goes first | Rhyming Mama @sarabellab123 my family were kidnapped by pirates and forced walk plank into shark infested waters pretty sure my children would fight over who got go first.
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People Reveal Their Unique Daily Rituals - A Thread

British TV music composer Nick Harvey asked is followers to share their unique daily rituals after revealing that he hides his front door keys every night so his son, who sleepwalks, doesn't inadvertently open the front door. People really took it seriously and shared all of their daily routines, but perhaps they aren't as unique as they thought. Plenty of people related to almost all of the replies, which proves that we're all a lot more similar than we might think! Here are some of the sweetest replies. How many do you relate to?

twitter thread about unique daily rituals - cover pic about person leaving TV on for their dogs | FUCK ALL Twinks @tinytwink Replying mrnickharvey Every day leave TV on dogs feel bad if 's on something shit like shopping channel, so spend 10 minutes searching something they might like
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People Who Got Tongue-Tied And Embarrassed Themselves

Every now and again, we speak a little too quickly for our minds to catch up with us. We've all been there - you start saying something, but the words get all twisted when they come out, and you end up saying something that makes no sense at all. It can be pretty embarrassing, especially if it's in front of an audience. These people know a thing or two about that, and as you read through their embarrassing stories, I'm sure you'll cringe along with me.

funny examples of people getting tongue-tied and embarrassing themselves - cover pic tweet about confusing words | Lucas @OFLaCar Meant say "hold on second" and "give minute customer and came out as "hold second monday
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