funny twitter

We can't believe it's only Tuesday. Here's a funny Twitter dump to help the weekdays go by just a wee bit faster. Enjoy! 

And the Choco Taco goes to.... 

According to Twitter user Alex Stein, her grandfather's stomach was "completely unfazed" and he is doing just fine! 

Right out of the Twitter gold archives! #MarchDadness of 2017 was quite a time, let's re-live that wonderful dadness with these tweets below!

"Prosper my hoes. Prosper." Some solid life advice in this Twitter thread, thanks for sharing Noelle! This thread recently popped up on Imgur, and though it may be a bit old, it's definitely gold! Enjoy!

Either their dispatcher is bored as hell or someone hilarious has desk duty! Either way, we're enjoying the entertainment! Keep up the good job officers! 

Do you ever just suddenly remember something absolutely horrifying that you did/happened to you? Us too. These tweets are made up of those nightmares and we're sharing them with you. Enjoy! 

When Trump declared a state of "National Emergency" to build his wall, Twitter users erupted with how they're coping during this difficult time. The hashtag 'NotesFromNationalEmergency' rapidly gained traction and the responses are perfect.  

These Twitter users have cracked the code, they have figured it out. Or not. Still extremely enjoyable! 

We've collected 10 of the best 'highest' things you've ever done and these following tweets are absolute magic. You're very, very welcome. 

'#FirstLineOfMyObitary swipe out to subscribe!' Twitter users are sharing the first line of their obituary and we wouldn't mind being invited to each and every one of them. 

This is one of the greatest Twitter threads OF ALL TIME. So sit back, get comfy, maybe make some popcorn, and enjoy! 

Twitter user @kelllicopter challenged her followers to prank their significant others by texting them with a very bold (and maybe to some, terrifying) demand. The results? Pretty much what would expect. 

This is the story of a man, who carried pizza boxes the wrong way and infuriated the whole world. OK, not the whole world, but this pizzeria for sure. Until they finally had enough and asked him, "Why?". 

Some of you have never seen these tweets and it shows. OK, we're not the best at this yet but give it some time! 

Twitter user MotherOfDoggons asked the Twitter community, "What's the dumbest [thing] you've ever did as a kid?' and the response was huge. Hugely amusing.