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Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (January 12, 2021)

Parenting can be a real lag. Yes, I know, kids are a blessing, yadda, yadda, yadda, but no parent can deny that the job comes with some real trials and tribulations. But, if you've got a good sense of humor, then the parenting journey suddenly becomes a lot more bearable. To inspire us on our parenthood journeys (or make us grateful that we don't have kids yet) are the funny dads of Twitter, who take parenting with a pinch of salt, a splash of vodka, and a whole lot of humor. Here are this week's funniest dad tweets.



funniest dad tweets of the week | Thumbnail Text - Simon Holland 000 @simoncholland [5:45 AM, in a harsh whisper] Daddy, don't worry, you can sleep. I'm making my own breakfast, how do you turn on the stove? Me: l'm up. 4:07 PM Jan 10, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 95 Retweets 7 Quote Tweets 1.7K Likes
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People Reveal Funniest Things They've Heard Others Say In Their Sleep

If you've ever slept next to someone who talks in their sleep, you'll know how utterly terrifying (but also hilarious) it can be. Seeing someone suddenly sit up straight in a zombie-like trance, eyes open, and utter total nonsense is not only terrifying but can be annoying, especially if it's woken you up. But all-in-all, it's more funny, than anything else, and these people are proving that by sharing the funniest things they've heard other people say in their sleep.

people share the funniest things they've heard others say in their sleep | thumbnail Text - Joanna Hardy @Joanna_Hardy 00 Good morning to everyone except my partner who, at 2am, mid-dream, sat bolt upright in bed and terrifyingly shouted into the dark: "Will there be a buffet?" 9:44 AM Jan 5, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 9.9K Retweets 1.8K Quote Tweets 166.2K Likes Mark Blacklock 000 @MarxMedia Replying to @Joanna_Hardy Much better than a partner who rises bolt upright slowly, silently as if from t
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The Ten Predictable Guys All Women Meet On Dating Apps

Hinge, OkCupid, Bumble, Tinder, Eharmony, Coffee Meets Bagel, Ship - the building blocks for the rollercoaster that is the dating app sphere. And what a wild, shitty ride it is. 

If your dating life is as much of a hot mess as my own, you've been downloading, deleting, and redownloading the apps since the beginning of time. Like many things in life, it has turned into a routine that I have come to despise. Alas, the quest for love always keeps me coming back for more. Because I've become so intertwined with the apps, I have inevitably become intertwined with the guys featured on the apps, and they will always have a special place in my digital heart. To all the boys I've swiped right (or left) on before, this one's for y'all.


the ten guys all women meet on dating apps | thumbnail image of topless man text - The One Too Hot For A Bio He seems to think his looks alone will easily get you to swipe right. Why waste time on words when his face speaks for itself? You'll be the judge of that.
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'Dear Karen': The New Advice Column Dishing Out Entitlement On A Weekly Basis (January 11, 2021)

No one in your life seems to understand that you deserve your world and more. No one except your local neighborhood Karen! Imagine a reality where you could get whatever you want when you want it.

Karen is here to offer you weekly quality advice, advice that will guarantee your best life from here on out. Screw the managers you've dealt with in the past, and embrace Karen as your life manager instead!

For more incredible advice from Karen, email dearkaren.cheezcake@gmail.com.


Dear Karen advice column, the advice column helping you get the privilege you're entitled to | thumbnail Text- Dear Mama Bear, Write a passionate letter to the CEO describing your ordeal with the unqualified employee, and detailing your integral role as a mother and a regular paying customer. Remember: 88 the CEO needs YOU for business, not the other way around! - Karen
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Funniest Tweets Written By Women Last Week (January 11, 2021)

Welcome to your latest weekly haul of 'funny women Tweets,' aka the musings of the funniest women on Twitter that we came across over the past seven days. If 2020 taught us anything, it's that humor gets you through some pretty dark times. Here's to funny women getting us through the beginning of 2021, which, if the first ten days are anything to go by, is also shaping up to be one hell of a year.



funniest women tweets we came across this week | thumbnail Text - Dana Donnelly @danadonly 00 ok but like who's gonna even wanna come to america at this point? how does 90 day fiancée expect to stay on the air? 6:55 PM Jan 7, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 228 Retweets 13 Quote Tweets 4.2K Likes
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Crimes Against Fashion Which Absolutely Can't Be Forgiven

Fashion is a religion that many hold dear, and they don't take kindly when its' laws are desecrated. So if you care about fashion in any way, you probably shouldn't scroll through these pictures of people who committed the most serious of crimes against fashion, my eyes, and my faith in humanity.

pictures of fashion crimes which can't be forgiven | thumbnail includes three images of bad fashion
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Cold, Relatable Memes For Those Who Hate Winter And Long For Summer

It's mid-January; we're in the throes of winter, and the cold weather is brutal. It's safe to say that my bikini tan lines have hibernated until next summer, and I won't be taking my heated blanket off for the foreseeable future. If you're anything like me, you thrive in the heat and wilt in the cold, much like a flower. And you're probably reading this while bundled up, reminiscing about the days when you could sit outdoors with your friends, the hot sun beating down on your neck, and sipping on cold cocktails. Ugh, throwback. But while the hot weather might be a distant memory, it doesn't mean we can't enjoy these memes about how much we hate winter, the cold, and the lack of tan. These memes are for all you summer babies.

relatable memes for those who hate winter and miss summer | thumbnail Text - My favorite thing about bundling up for winter is nobody knows when l'm not wearing a bra. somee cards, My Body: Is at a perfect room temperature My Feet:It's mid-January, we're in the throes of winter, and the cold weather is brutal. It's safe to say that my bikini tan lines have hibernated until next summer, and I won't be taking my heated blanket off for the foreseeable future. If you're anything like me, you thrive
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Women Reveal The Biggest Red Flags They Ignored In Relationships

Aah, that blissful feeling of being in love — it's a beautiful thing, but it doesn't come without its complications. At one point or another, many of us will have found ourselves in questionable relationships where we put up with behaviors we shouldn't have—speaking for a friend, of course. The rose-colored glasses we wear in relationships can blind us to some pretty glaringly obvious red flags, which we can only see clearly once the relationship has ended. On the bright side, we can use them as learning experiences of what not to ignore when it comes to our next relationship. A tweet asking people to share the biggest red flags they ignored in relationships has revealed some hilarious responses, which might make you relate to any previous sh*t shows you dated in the past. What were some red flags you ignored?



people share the biggest red flags they ignored in relationships | thumbnail Text - obj @objsucks 000 what's the biggest red flag you ever ignored? i'll start. i dated a guy who drank vodka milks. not white russians. vodka with ice and whole milk. that's on me. 11:42 PM Dec 27, 2020 Twitter for iPhone 12.5K Retweets 13.5K Quote Tweets 326.4K Likes, Thank Dog! M @Stephanie_KJ 000 Replying to @objsucks I dated a guy who used to share a single chocolate with his mother in the evening after su
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (January 10, 2021)

Have kids, they said. It will be fun, they said. Well, that might not be true in all cases. These funny parenting tweets prove just how misleading that statement can be and how, realistically, kids can drive you to the brink of insanity. Thank goodness for parents who have a good sense of humor and who share their parenting woes on Twitter for all other parents to relate to, uniting together in parenting angst.

funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland 000 I hope my friends don't find out I own a coat. -Teenagers 4:17 PM Jan 6, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 338 Retweets 34 Quote Tweets 3.8K Likes
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Wholesome, Funny And Disturbing Comments Found On Pornhub

We all know that porn is designed with a particular purpose in mind, and it does the job pretty well. But when it comes to porn, the only thing we care about on this platform is the humor that comes with it, and it turns out, if you read the comments on porn websites, there's some pretty funny stuff! Leaving aside the question of what sort of person comments on porn websites at all, nestled among the less tasteful comments, are some real gems. A collection of screenshots from Pornhub show the types of weird and random comments people leave. From critical analyses of camera angling to asking for recipes and explaining how unrealistic certain things are (duh, it's porn!), they are hilarious to read and bring somewhat of a human element to an otherwise pretty heartless industry.

funny comments on pornhub - thumbnail includes two images of egg in frying pan and woman and man on bus | here2observe hello made account on here just say hes made worst eggs ever seen. couldn't concentrate after saw abomination | She didn't even tell the bus driver thank you
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Bridesmaids Reveal The Worst 'Bridezilla' Moments They Experienced

There is a special place in hell for Bridezillas. Sure, it's your wedding day, and you want everything to be perfect. But that doesn't justify acting like the devil reincarnated, which some brides would do good to remember. From throwing tantrums when they don't get their way to insisting the bridal party spends obscene amounts of money on the bachelorette and bridesmaid dresses, there's something about wedding prep that brings out the worst in some people. When you're stressed, they say that you take it out on the people closest to you, which, when it comes to weddings, usually means the bridesmaids. Here are some shocking tales of Bridezilla weddings that bridesmaids were involved in, proving that Bridezillas are next-level crazy.

bridesmaids reveal worst bridezilla moments they experienced | thumbnail text - "I was best friends with the woman, literally, we did everything together. I wasn’t invited to the wedding because I was overweight and her mother thought that would limit bridesmaid dress choices and throw the wedding photos ‘off’".
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Funniest Tweets About The Illogical Reasons Couples Get Mad At Each Other

If you're in a relationship, then you'll remember the honeymoon phase all too well. Those weeks (or months if you were lucky) at the beginning of the relationship, where you were blinded by love and your partner could do no wrong. But pretty quickly, you probably went from worshipping the ground they walk on to wanting to kill them for the way they breathe. Or blink. Or sit quietly and exist. If you can relate to this, then these tweets about the 'illogical' reasons people got mad at their partners will hit you at all levels.

funny tweets about the illogical reasons couples get mad at each other | thumbnail Text - mark @TheCatWhisprer Crazy how I get yelled at for not fluffing a pillow just right when I get off the couch but my wife's tube of toothpaste looks like a grizzly bear used it. 4:25 AM Jun 30, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 36 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 342 Likes
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People Who Caught Their Co-Workers In Compromising Positions

For the most part, people are professional at work. They come to work, do their jobs, and don't commit crimes, or sleep with anyone while there. You know, that sort of thing. But others have a hard time sticking to these types of rules and decide that work is an appropriate place to have sex, steal money, and generally disregard all proper social conduct. If you can get away with it, props to you - sort of. Ok, not really. But if you're going to do something that stupid at work, at least make sure you don't get caught. These people share stories of the compromising positions they caught their coworkers in, and the tales are pretty shocking! Have you ever found a coworker in a situation they shouldn't have been?

people who caught coworkers in compromising positions - cover pic story about working at wendys and catching manager and coworker having sex | Abigail Petersen, former Drive Thru at Wendy's (2013-2015) Answered August 6 worked at Wendy's younger sent walk- freezer get more fries and opened door find manager banging co-worker just grabbed fries near door and walked out without saying word co-worker made shift manager few weeks later. Neither them acknowledged and basically ignored after If
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Top Weekly Shower Thoughts (January 8, 2021)

With Kim and Kanye's impending divorce and the White House under siege, we've already had a taster of the sh*t show that 2021 will inevitably turn out to be. Personally, I'm excited to see what else it has in store for us. Not. But to keep us going, we have the top shower thoughts from this year so far, and, if they're anything to go by, they accurately reflect the mental state of the world right now: totally and utterly over it. 



Top Weekly Shower Thoughts on Reddit | thumbnail Text - r/Showerthoughts · Posted by u/S7seven7 6 days ago 2 2 S2 2 "I'll give you your birthday present later" is a totally different statement coming from your mother than your girlfriend.
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Funniest Relationship Tweets of The Week (January 8, 2021)

We're starting the new year off with a bang by throwing some of the funniest relationship tweets we've seen so far in 2021 your way. Here's to a new year of hilarious Twitter interactions when it comes to all things romance related. May the Twitter gods shine their light down on us and continue to provide us with weekly laughs at the expense of other people's love lives. Amen.



funniest relationship tweets of the week | Thumbnail Text - Rachel McCartney 000 @RachelMComedy Kim and Kanye getting divorced right now is the first time they've read the room in five years 2:17 AM - Jan 6, 2021 - Twitter for Android 20 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 793 Likes
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Overused And Cliché Lines People Use In Dating Profiles, Which Need To Stop

Writing a dating profile can be a daunting task. How is one to accurately describe the fabulousness of their personality within 100-300 characters? Unfortunately, we don't have the answer to that. However, we DO have a list of overused dating profile phrases that should be deleted immediately. Here are the most annoying dating profile cliches according to our readers, brought to you by The Single Society.

overused cliché lines people need to stop using in their dating profiles | thumbnail pop art image of woman text - the oxford comma gets me so hot
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