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Funny Tweets Which Sum Up The Trials And Tribulations Of Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. The process of growing a new life inside of you and keeping it safe until it's ready to make an appearance in the world is nothing short of a miracle. But alongside the beauty of it all comes the hormones, the mood swings, the pains, and the inconveniences. These tweets accurately sum up the joys of baby brain, not fitting into your clothes, and crying at the smallest of things.

funny tweets about pregnancy | thumbnail Text - Anne Thériault @anne_theriault A very humbling moment in my life was when I was pregnant and feeling very busty, so I went to a lingerie store and was like "yeah, I don't even KNOW what cup size I am, because PREGNANCY has made my chest HUGE," so they measured me and they were like "ma'am you are a 34A" 4:27 AM May 27, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 85 Retweets 18 Quote Tweets 3.8K Likes >
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Striking Portraits Of Female Bodybuilders

When you think of bodybuilders, most people typically associate it with men, which makes sense when you consider that up until the late 19th century, the female physique was hardly considered one of strength. In fact, women's exercise was very much frowned upon, with women deemed to be frail or weak. But as women's rights, feminism, and equality grew, the concept of "strongwomen" was popularised. Today, there is a whole world of female bodybuilding, where women are proving their strength just as much as mean.

In a striking portrait series called Female Bodybuilders by Martin Schoeller, he tries to "Show the vulnerability that I see and feel in the subjects when I am with them, to get to the complex emotions behind a mask of extreme physical expression. These women mirror our modern cultural hunger for size, aggression, and attention at any cost. We are in the age of Bigness." Some of his stunning portraits are below, and the rest can be found in his book on Amazon.

striking portraits of female bodybuilders | thumbnail includes two images of female bodybuilders
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Robert Downey Jr. As A Vintage Pin-Up Girl? Yes Please

The concept of pin-up girls — idealized painting or drawing of the female form designed for public display — was one of the key elements of 20th Century Americana. Most people are familiar with vintage images of women in bikinis or other skimpy clothing in various provocative poses, but few have been acquainted with these photoshopped versions. Welcome to the pin-up girls with a twist. And by twist, we mean with Robert Downey Jr.'s face. Yes, that's right, someone out there has spent time photoshopping his face onto classic pin-up girl's bodies, and we're not mad about it. We can only assume he would be if he saw them. Scroll through for some strange but funny eye-candy.

funny pictures of Robert Downey Jr. as vintage pin-up girls | thumbnail includes 3 images of Robert Downey, Jr as Pin-up girls
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Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (October 27, 2020)

We're back with the latest haul of funniest dads on Twitter we came across this week, and as usual, they don't disappoint. It turns out that 280 characters or less are enough to vent your joys frustrations of the trials and tribulations of parenting, and dads nail it every time. Check out these nuggets of humor, and then head over to last week's in case you missed them.



funniest dad tweets of the week | Text - Dad on my Feet @dad_on_my_feet 000 My kid left a car light on overnight so this morning my battery was dead, which reminded me the importance of life-lessons like jump- starting an engine, keeping an emergency kit handy, and above all else, proper use of birth control
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My Dating Nightmare: The 'Recovering' Alcoholic Who Stabbed Ex-Wife With Fork

There are some crazy people in the world, and many of them can be found on dating apps! But no GOOD story ever started with 'I met a nice normal guy….' Like this weirdo who clearly has a little emotional baggage (and maybe some anger issues) to deal with. We teamed up with The Single Society to share all the crazy dating experiences from women all over the world! You're welcome. 

dating fail story about guy who stabbed ex-wife with fork | thumbnail pop art image of guy Text - "give me a chance or I'll throw my fork at you" | He how his drugs and alcohol addiction caused him to lose his job and ruin his first AND second marriage by drunkenly trying to stab his ex-wife with a fork in a restaurant, resulting in incarceration.
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Sex Workers Reveal Their Worst Requests From Clients

When it comes to sex, there are two groups of people. The first, which probably comprises most of the population, enjoy good old missionary (with a bit of doggy-style thrown in if they're feeling adventurous), vanilla sex. The second is the folk who get off on various kinks and fetishes, ranging from innocent role-play to some really nasty and sometimes dangerous sh*t. Seriously, check any porn website, and you'll find a subcategory for every kink imaginable. Whatever floats your boat, we don't judge, as long as it's consensual and you're having a good time.

But even if you fall into the latter category, what's 'weird' on the kink spectrum is relative; one person's "normal" is another person's "hell to the no". Sex workers, whose job is to make their clients' fantasies come true, are perhaps the group of people most exposed to the pandora's box of sexual kinks and fetishes. But even they have their limits, and a recent AskReddit thread where sex workers described some of the worst requests they received from clients revealed some genuinely shocking stuff. We've compiled a list of some of the strangest requests, which will probably make you realize just how vanilla you are after reading them. Maybe.

sex workers reveal the worst requests they've had from clients | thumbnail Text - jenskal 43 points · 15 days ago I tried being a phone sex operator. Not as fun as some people said it would be. One guy just wanted to listen to me sneeze for an hour. Do you know how much it hurts to pretend sneeze?
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Uninspirational Quotes For The Uninspired

If you're the type of person, who loves reading a good inspirational quote with a strategically placed sunset backdrop, then this Instagram page is not for you. Unspirational is the account with uncomfortable truths about life that will both demotivate and depress you but will also hit you with a good ol' dose of reality. Because who are we kidding; 2020 is a sh*tshow, and a bunch of fridge magnet positivity quotes isn't going to change a thing. Scroll down for some funny (ish) nuggets of wisdom.

funny uninspiring quotes to demotivate you | thumbnail includes two quotes Text - oh, good another stupid day just what i needed, if you don't have anything nice to say, we could probably be friends
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This Week's Top Celebrity News: A Satirical Roundup (October 26, 2020)

With the world descending into madness, there's not much positivity in the news lately. But thankfully, in the world of celebs, there's always something exciting going on, and as usual, our Weekly Celebrity Diary provides you with everything you need to know. Together with Mock Diaries, we bring you a weekly parody of the biggest celebrity news of the week, summarizing everything that happens to your favorite (and worst) celebs. This week, between Melania Trump's stunt double and Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson's relationship drama, we've got enough gossip to keep you busy for... about five minutes. You. Are. Welcome.

satirical weekly diary of top celebrity news | thumbnail Text - It's official! Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson are back together. Sources say Tristan worked really hard to convince Khloe that he will never cheat on her again… as long as the coronavirus is still out there.
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Funniest Tweets Written By Women Last Week (October 26, 2020)

Each week, we scour Twitter and compile some of the funniest female musings we found over the past seven days. We like to think of it as paying homage to the epic women who make the internet whole and who fill our days with laughter. Enjoy this week's haul of funniest tweets written by women, and then check out the last lot in case you missed it.


funniest women tweets we came across this week | Text - Rachel @femaleredhead god (creating me): here's the ability to be funny sometimes me: omg thank you! so i guess i'll be pretty happy then god: LOL wow, you are funny
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Man With 700lbs. Of Beef Can't Get A Date: Funny Twitter Thread

Everyone is looking for different things in a life partner, and everyone knows what they bring to the table. But sometimes, it's better to keep your assets to yourself instead of assuming that you know what your potential suitors want, especially if it makes you sound like a bit of a d-bag. One guy learned this the hard way when he took to Twitter to vent his frustrations about being single, despite all his assets. His Tweet said, "My housing is paid for. I make a good salary. I get health insurance, 401k, 700 lbs of beef a year, and I live on a couple hundred acres. I'm a puncher by trade with a bachelor's degree. And I swear you women would rather have a loser than a provider. It's sad"

Twitter roasted him mercilessly, men and women alike and the responses are hilarious. We've compiled some of the funniest ones for you below to scroll through and laugh at.

 

man complains on Twitter that he can't get a date despite having 700lbs. of beef a year | thumbnail Text - Dangerously Beefy @vickers_stephen 000 My housing is paid for. I make a good salary. I get health insurance, 401k, 700 Ibs of beef a year, and I live on a couple hundred acres. I'm a puncher by trade with a bachelors degree. And I swear you women would rather have a loser than a provider. It's sad
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Funny Tweets About Parents Being Busted By Their Kids

If you have kids, you'll relate to the fact that you're not really in charge. You might think you are, and you might act like you are, but our offsprings control our every move. Whether it's hiding our snacks from their wondering eyes and hands or concocting elaborate tales to throw away old toys in secret, parents hide more from their kids than kids hide from their parents. These funny tweets from parents being busted by their kids are accurate and relatable and make you realize who really runs the show.

funny tweets about kids busting parents | thumbnail Text - threetimedaddy @threetimedaddy 000 I would never ever deface a book by tearing out a page. NEVER. But my 3 year old has started noticing when I skip pages during his bedtime story so now l'm kinda tempted.
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Toddler Befriends Decorative Halloween Skeleton, Now Wont Leave It Alone

When 2-year-old Theo from Salt Lake City, Utah, discovered an old decorative Halloween skeleton in his parent's basement, he didn't realize that he had also found his new, unlikely, best friend.

In an interview with Bored Panda, Theo's mom Abigail explained how the special friendship began in September. Just as they were about to leave their house for a trip to a reservoir, the air felt moist, which, Abigail explained, was a rarity in a Utah home. Upon investigation, she found that the water heater had flooded the basement. "The basement is unfinished, so it wasn't that big of a deal. While I was cleaning up the mess, Theo found the skeleton among all of the decorations. Once I had everything cleaned up, [it was time to head] to the reservoir. However, he refused to get into the car without his skeleton. So the skeleton came along on a fun adventure with us. Since then, they have been inseparable."

Theo named the skeleton "Benny", and has provided Theo with some much-needed company after the pandemic has stopped all playdates with kids his age. He takes Benny everywhere with him and loves his new bony friend.


toddler befriends parent's Halloween decorative skeleton and now won't leave it alone | thumbnail includes two pictures of toddler with skeleton
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (October 25, 2020)

They say it takes a village to raise a child... and nowadays, that village is Twitter. It has become the place for parents to turn to vent their frustrations, air their grievances, and seek much-needed empathy for the trials and tribulations that parenting brings. Here are the funniest parenting tweets we found this week, and here are last week's in case you missed them.



funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Text - hat Mom Tho 000 @mom_tho parenting young kids includes wishing they'd be quiet and anxiety rising when they are
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People Reveal Aftermath Of Friends Turning Them On By Mistake

Some say that there is no such thing as vvvv between males and females; one person in the relationship will always think of the other more romantically than just a friend. And that may be true, but usually, if you are in that unfortunate position, you'll likely keep those feelings to yourself, at the risk of being rejected and ruining the friendship. But what happens when your friend turns you on accidentally when you know you have a crush on them? Alternatively, what happens if your friend turns you on, but you've never previously had feelings for them? Redditers reveal what happened to them after a friend turned them on by mistake, and spoiler alert, some of the endings are super heartwarming! Others are super cringe-worthy.

People reveal what happened after their friend turned them on by mistake | thumbnail Text - davidjschloss 1.7k points · 3 days ago I came back from freshman year college to visit high school and walked into the auditorium, where an incredibly cute girl I was friends with saw me, stopped what she was doing and literally ran up the aisle and jumped into my arms to hug me. Plot twist: married 26 years and have a son.
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Women's Memes To Appreciate

Here are some more women's memes to get you through the weekend. Whether you're out with the girls, home with the family, and everything in between, these memes are relatable when it comes to all-things-female. And if you loved these, check out some more over here.

funny and relatable women's memes | thumbnail includes two memes Text - The people who decided to make the pockets on women's pants half an inch deep. What do women want?. Who cares? | OBGYN asks scoot coochi up little further
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Dating Nightmares: Women Who Had to Deal With Total Stalkers After A Date

I think I speak for every single person when I say the modern dating scene can be pretty scary. But for someone unlucky ladies it can be downright terrifying. People not taking hints or even accepting a blatant rejection rearing their ugly heads can be undoubtedly frightening. We teamed up with The Single Society to tell you all about these spooky encounters from people who just couldn't take 'no' for an answer.

Women who had to deal with a total stalker after a date | thumbnail pop art image of man on computer Text - She blocked me again?! Time to find out where she works | l met a guy online and went on one mediocre date. I didn't respond to any of his texts, hoping he would get the hint. He didn't, and started calling the front desk at my work multiple times a day and leaving messages on my machine. The secretary had to block his number
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