dad tweets

Advertisement

funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | text - Sarcastic Mommy ... @sarcasticmommy4 How's virtual school going for you? I'll start. My son was late to his PE class because he was making nachos. 11:52 PM Jan 27, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 96 Retweets 14 Quote Tweets 1.1K Likes

Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (January 31, 2021)

funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Font - Jessica Valenti @JessicaValenti 000 Whenever I get discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then 3 year- old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: "I'm gonna need more carrots." 6:34 PM Jan 18, 2021 · Twitter Web App 9.6K Retweets 796 Quote Tweets 118.2K Likes

Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (January 24, 2021)

Advertisement

funniest dad tweets of the week | Thumbnail Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn 000 [loud thud] Me: What was that? 6-year-old: Nothing. Me: Then why did I hear it? 6: It was a loud nothing. 8:20 PM Jan 16, 2021 - Twitter for Android 132 Retweets 14 Quote Tweets 2.6K Likes

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (January 19, 2021)

funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Text - Mom Jeans @momjeansplease I couldn't decide if I wanted bangs or not so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks awful. Dodged a bullet there. 4:46 PM · Jan 14, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 45.1K Retweets 5.2K Quote Tweets 782.7K Likes

Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (January 17, 2021)

funniest dad tweets of the week | Thumbnail Text - Simon Holland 000 @simoncholland [5:45 AM, in a harsh whisper] Daddy, don't worry, you can sleep. I'm making my own breakfast, how do you turn on the stove? Me: l'm up. 4:07 PM Jan 10, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 95 Retweets 7 Quote Tweets 1.7K Likes

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (January 12, 2021)

Advertisement

funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Text - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal My 4 year old said he was carsick so I dumped the groceries from a plastic bag & passed it back to him with instructions to "throw up inside it." I heard him throw up & looked back to see that he'd put the bag on over his head like a helmet, so the puke fell right out the bottom. 3:37 PM Dec 17, 2020 - Twitter for iPhone 61 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 880 Likes

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (December 22, 2020)

funniest dad tweets of the week | Thumbnail Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland I never understood how the little drummer boy's parents could just send him outside alone at night to play his drum until my daughter brought a recorder home from school. 1:49 AM Dec 9, 2020 Twitter for iPhone 228 Retweets 24 Quote Tweets 2.7K Likes

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (December 15, 2020)

funniest dad tweets of the week | Thumbnail Text - Richard Dean @dad_on_my_feet Our daughter asked me what "cremation" means so I told her and she responded that it "sounds delicious" so apparently I'm raising a sweet golden-haired Hannibal Lecter 4:46 PM Dec 1, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 62 Retweets 5 Quote Tweets 731 Likes

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (December 8, 2020)

Advertisement

funniest dad tweets of the week | Text - Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking hell hath no fury like a toddler who loses the chance to push a button of any kind. 11:36 PM · Nov 24, 2020 - Twitter Web App 193 Retweets 14 Quote Tweets 1.5K Likes >

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (December 1, 2020)

funniest dad tweets of the week | Thumbnail Text - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal When I randomly walk into a room in my home and find my kids playing quietly together I slowly and silently back out like l've stumbled into a den of hungry velociraptors who by some miracle haven't noticed me yet. 1:10 AM - Nov 13, 2020 - Twitter Web App 94 Retweets 11 Quote Tweets 1.1K Likes >

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (November 17, 2020)

funniest dad tweets of the week | Text - Brian Wecht @bwecht Audrey (6yo): Daddy! Did you know that after Michael left my school, he came back and now people call him David? Me: Does he look and sound totally different too? Audrey: Yes!!! Me: That's not the same kid, honey. Audrey: *long pause* Maybe 11:51 PM · Nov 6, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 570 Retweets 20 Quote Tweets 9.4K Likes

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (November 10, 2020)

Advertisement

funniest dad tweets of the week | Text - Dad on my Feet @dad_on_my_feet 000 My kid left a car light on overnight so this morning my battery was dead, which reminded me the importance of life-lessons like jump- starting an engine, keeping an emergency kit handy, and above all else, proper use of birth control

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week

funniest dad tweets of the week - Text - bacon popsiclestein @Gupton68 If I learned just one thing as a parent, it's that by the 3rd kid they can be juggling samurai swords and hand grenades and you won't care as long as they're doing it quietly

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (October 20, 2020)

funniest dad tweets of the week | Text - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes. What the child hears: Get undressed. Start finger painting. Lose at least one shoe.

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (October 13, 2020)

Advertisement

funniest dad tweets of the week - Text - Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Me: It's National Daughter Day. 8-year-old: What did you get me? Me: Nothing. It's not a gift-giving holiday. 8: I'll remember that on Father's Day

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (September 29, 2020)

funniest dad tweets of the week - Text - Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking I can clean my car, vacuum it squeaky clean. Put my kids in. Give them absolutely nothing and there's 52 lbs of crumbs in the seats when they get out. This is how I know children are 98% made up of crumbs.

Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (September 22, 2020)

Trending Now

Bride uninvites sister-in-law from wedding after she leaks news of her pregnancy online: 'I had over 50 messages from distant friends and coworkers before I could even process it'

Bride uninvites sister-in-law from wedding after she leaks news of her pregnancy online: 'I had over 50 messages from distant friends and coworkers before I could even process it'

16-year-old forced to share a room with 12-year-old clingy brother, Jayden, on family vacation, grandparents demand he get respect and space: 'He shouldn't be forced to play caretaker'

16-year-old forced to share a room with 12-year-old clingy brother, Jayden, on family vacation, grandparents demand he get respect and space: 'He shouldn't be forced to play caretaker'

20 Cool Aunt Memes For Women Who Are Their Nieces and Nephews' Biggest Fan

20 Cool Aunt Memes For Women Who Are Their Nieces and Nephews' Biggest Fan

Wife's new "sales" job made no profit in 9 months of working, husband fed up when she also refuses to contribute to the household, he seeks advice from the internet

Wife's new "sales" job made no profit in 9 months of working, husband fed up when she also refuses to contribute to the household, he seeks advice from the internet

Entitled friend tells woman to stop losing weight because she ‘doesn’t want to be the ugly one in the group photos’ on her birthday trip: ‘I’m doing this to better myself’

Entitled friend tells woman to stop losing weight because she ‘doesn’t want to be the ugly one in the group photos’ on her birthday trip: ‘I’m doing this to better myself’

Advertisement