abbyadler

Abby is a wandering soul who is incapable of staying in one place for too long. She splits her time between the US and Israel. Her passions include travel, dance, karaoke, meditation, and cheesy fries. When she's not clacking away at her laptop and talking shit on the internet, you can find her tearing up the dance floor on a night out on the town.

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My Shady Ex Ghosted Me, But Not Before Stealing My Dirty Laundry

We've all had our fair share of shady exes, and we've all been guilty of jumping right back into their arms after they've done us wrong. However, the ex in the following story - Jeremy - is one I'm pretty sure I'm never going to have another round with. Dearest Jeremy: this one's been a long time coming, but it's a story that must be told. I'm sure you've had your heart stolen by a guy out there, but what about your laundry? Sure, you may have stolen a couple of his hoodies along the way, but has he ever stolen a hamper of your dirty laundry? Probably not. Perhaps Jeremy stole my dirty laundry as revenge for all the hoodies we've stolen from guys around the globe. Or perhaps he's just a major creep. Read all the juicy details below, and let me know the verdict in the comments. 

My ex ghosted me and stole my dirty laundry | thumbnail text - While I was embarassed that the one thing I had forgotten in his car happened to be dirty laundry considering we had only dated for a month and a half or so, I figured 'no biggie. He'll just hold onto it until I get back.' Little did I know just how long Jeremy intended to hold onto my dirty laundry for.
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Guys All Women Encounter During Peak Wedding Season

Ah, wedding season. You've made it to yet another day celebrating the union of two hotties with mediocre personalities adorable lovebirds, and you're feeling good as hell. If you're a bridesmaid, you put your blood, sweat, tears, and savings into the bridesmaid dress, keeping the bride happy, and planning the bachelorette party and the bridal shower. Now, you finally have room to breathe, and you're ready to have a fucking ball. If you're just a mere guest, you still spent a substantial amount of money on the wedding gift, and you want to ensure you get back on your investment through gorgeous groomsmen and an open bar. Besides, love is in the air today, right? Everyone deserves in on some of that action.

Yep, love is in the air for the groom and bride… just maybe not for you. Guys at weddings may look fire on the surface, but you'll soon discover that they're fire alright - total dumpster fires. Below is a list of guys you encounter at weddings. Set your standards low now, ladies. You got a tsunami of disappointment headed your way. God bless the open bar.



guys all women meet at weddings | thumbnail of man dancing at wedding Text - The Hype Man This guy brings a whole new meaning to the term Party Animal. His love language? “Chug! Chug! Chug!" and the Cha-Cha Slide. Just when you think he’s about to go in for a platonic kiss towards the end of the wedding, he passes out on your shoulder.
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Iconic Nicki Minaj Song Lyrics We Religiously Abide By

Over the past decade, Nicki Minaj has paved the way for women everywhere to be their best baddie selves on a daily basis, and she doesn't plan on stopping anytime soon. I've been religiously listening to Nicki since I was an itty bitty high school freshman, and I'm not exaggerating when I say she's made me who I am today. Extra? Possibly. But I wouldn't be a true Nicki fan if I wasn't extra.

When I first heard her go hard on Trey Songz' 2010 hit Bottoms Up on the radio, I was hooked, which is why her 2019 retirement announcement tweet was a major shock. When she first posted the tweet, friends actually reached out to see if I was okay (spoiler alert: I was not okay). Turns out, Nicki was just trolling the sh*t out of us - psyche! She managed to bounce back after having a baby and is still blessing us with total bangers to this day. As a mega-fan, that's enough reason to celebrate! Let's reminisce over her best lyrics from the past decade, and pray that she keeps blessing us with so much more in the coming decade.

Other amazing lyrics I missed? Let me know in the comments.


Nicki Minaj lyrics we love | thumbnail text - 'You could be the king but watch the queen conquer'
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Throw A Fourth of July Party So Epic That Even The Founding Fathers Would Be Proud

It's that time of the year again! And this time around, we're about to go all out. As the blessed residents of the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, we're pretty much obligated to. As the socialite of the summer season (and every other season of the year, for that matter), everyone's expecting you to throw one epic 4th party. Given the past year, it's been a hot minute since you planned your last party, and you'd appreciate a refresher. Dontcha worry, Cheezcake babe - we're here with all the party-planning tips you need to go as hard as George Washington himself. Hosting a BBQ and going blackout is a classic, but we're about to step it up a notch. Let's make like 1776 and get this party started! May the 4th be with you. 

epic fourth of july party tips | thumbnail text - a very famous duel in American history took place between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr. Even though Hamilton got killed as a result of this duel, he would have wanted you to do the same on the 4th of July. Or at least that's what the USA-themed jello shots will be telling you. It's the perfect time to start a fight with that coworker everyone lowkey hates
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How To Prevent Dying On A Summer Hike You Didn't Even Want To Go On

You thought hot girl summer was all about splitting your time between rooftop bar happy hours, numerous f*ckboys, and occasionally breaking a sweat against your will. And it totally is. However, there also happen to be some granola-eating hippies out there that think summer represents becoming one with nature and going on hikes?! And the worst part is that some of your friends identify with these freaks! The horror! Last you checked, you didn't sign up for this Kumbaya sh*t. However, you're a team player, so you're willing to go on one hike. But that's it. You know your limits, and you can't handle more than one. Alas, what if you don't make it through this one hike? Mercury seems to always be in retrograde, so you really never know what can go wrong when the stars are always out to get you. Not to worry, Cheezcake babes - we got you covered with top-notch tips to make it through that one hellish hike. 

tops to survive a summer hike | thumbnail text -
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Best Summer Drunchies Food According To Your Horoscope

It's no secret that the stars dictate our lives, from job promotions to friendships to sex lives. Obviously, hot girl summer calls for a helluva lot of partying, and drunchies (read: drunk food cravings) are inevitable to follow. Because the cosmos call the shots about literally everything, it makes sense that our deepest food cravings would be inexplicably tied to our horoscope. Because science, b*tch. In conclusion, you're entitled to scarf down the following drunchies all summer because the zodiac says so. You're welcome. 

Drunk food based on your horoscope | thumbnail text - Jersey Shore and Date Movie
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Hot Girl Summer Things That Are Actually Hot Girl Bummers

We've all been going hard ringing in Vaxxed and Waxed Hot Girl Summer 2021, but going hard takes an awful amount of effort and energy that we don't always have. Contrary to popular belief, hot girls have problems too. Average people seem to forget that we're just like you, except we're hot. Being hot 24/7 for an entire season can be challenging, and there are definitely some roadblocks along the way. The only way to lift our spirits is to open up about our hot girl problems, so here we are. Below are the hot girl bummers that keep us sweaty and sad, yet somehow we still manage to stay sexy against all odds. We honestly don't know how we do it either. 

Hot girl summer problems | thumbnail text - you can't have hot girl summer without the sun, but on the other hand, the sun is the cause of all our sweaty misery.
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We Ranked All The Men From Shrek According To Their 'Boyfriend Material' Potential

In case you missed it, we celebrated National Shrek Day over the weekend. That's right, the Shrek franchise has a national holiday that is celebrated on June 4th, and anyone who questions this holiday clearly has no deep, emotional layers like the one and only Shrek. As a Shrek fangirl, I was obligated to binge-watch all the Shrek movies because DUH.

 As I immersed myself in the films and identified which characters were clearly the f*ckboys and which were the good guys, it got me thinking - which Shrek character would I feel confident setting up with my best friends? Which one would I consider dating myself?

If you unabashedly have the hots for Prince Charming or Lord Farquad, then girl, you're a lost cause. The rest of you, come with me! And always remember, Shrek is love, Shrek is life.



Shrek characters ranked according to boyfriend material potential
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How To Successfully Avoid Hanging Out With Your Significant Other's Friends

After a year of being holed up inside with your S/O, you're ready to make your debut out in the world again as a boring, washed-out power couple. You can't wait to reunite with your friends again for Vaxxed and Waxed Summer 2021, full of never-ending nights under city lights and stars, as well as a never-ending supply of White Claw fuel. And you feel the exact same way about your boyfriend's friends… or do you?

What's that? Quarantine might have been a blessing in disguise because at least you didn't have to listen to Jason and Mason drone on and on about their expensive dream cars, which they'll never actually be able to afford since they spend all their money on drunchies at Taco Bell, Fantasy Football, and video games? Yeah, that's what we thought. 

You already had to get past your boyfriend's weird quirks, and now he expects to accept his buddies and their unique form of dumbassery? No thanks! We got you covered with an arsenal of tips to successfully get out of hanging out with these duds, stat.






How to successfully avoid your boyfriend's friends | thumbnail text - If all else fails, make his friends feel hella uncomfortable when you're around. Show up to the sports bar in the wrong team's jersey. Pretend to get so into the game that you block their view. Shove chicken wings and barbecue sauce into your face in such a gross, unladylike way that even the nastiest of his friends will be disgusted. Right after the loudest burp of your life, announce the following: "I gotta take a massive du
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Brand-New, Innovative Methods To Chill TF Out The Right Way

I don't know about you guys, but the classic relaxation methods just aren't working for me. Like, I don't need yoga - I need a vodka soda, STAT. Apparently, that's frowned upon because society is always watching and judging me. I'm sorry people are so jealous of me, but I can't help it that I'm popular. 

We're all just balls of anxiety on the verge of exploding, but I'm not gonna let that explosion happen. Because I love you ladies so much, I've come up with brand-new, better ways to calm TF down, instead of the boring sh*t that the professionals came up with because those are such a drag. Enjoy my genius, and seize the day! 

New satirical ways to chill out | thumbnail text - visualize yourself calm
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Guys All Women Encounter At The Club

Just in time for hot girl summer, we're all out and about on the town again, which means we're moving drinks in the living room to drinks at the club. In case you've forgotten how social interactions at the club work (or how social interactions work in general), ya girl is here to refresh your memory. To optimize your night out, you need to know who to befriend, and who to look out for. Because I'm such a good friend, I've compiled a list of eight types of guys you meet at the club so you can prepare adequately before getting too intoxicated to tell the difference. Always remember the golden rule, Cheezcakers: prep yourself before you wreck yourself

Guys women encounter at the club | thumbnail text - Awkward Hoverer A clubbing first-timer (or his friends cancelled on him at the last minute), this guy will hover around your friend group and dance awkwardly forever - until you let him into your circle. If you're feeling generous, adopt him for the night. Cheers to new friends!
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Guys All Women Encounter At The Gym

As if I didn't hate working out already, the guys I come into contact with at the gym make me regret showing up even more. Like, don't these men understand that I just wanna suffer and sweat in peace? Don't look at me, don't talk to me, just let me be. Nonetheless, I have to admit that whether they're directly involving you in their gym routine or not, prime entertainment is always guaranteed during your workout.

This list is gonna make you count your blessings for at-home workouts during the Rona era.


guys all women meet at the gym | thumbnail includes picture of topless man taking gym selfie Text - Somehow, he has a perfectly chiseled bod, which makes no sense, considering he spends more time hanging out around the mirror than actually working out. If he could make out with his reflection, he totally would.
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Ten Major F*ckboy Red Flags

While The Donald may no longer be president, fckboys still reign supreme. Some are easy to spot with names like Chad engraved onto their Juul and bare abs nearly always exposed, but others are advancing, learning how to mask their inherent douchiness within normal society.

 Fckboys have become masters of projecting falsehoods for their own benefit in stealth. I have come to realize that the best way to weed out a true fckboy from the crowd, is probably just to give him enough time to fck up on his own. There is no exact science behind how many minutes or months this process may take to prevail, but usually, if a man is genuine, you will be able to feel it out soon enough

Well, ladies, call it a guilty conscience, or, perhaps, just a wanting to level the playing field. Whatever the reason may be, I, a blaringly self-aware fuckboy – hyper-emotional, trend-hopping, intimacy fearing and all! –have decided to explain the top ten moves you should look out for from f*ckboys.


Advice from our resident f*ckboy | thumbnail text - They will flake on dinner to drink with the boys, just as easily as they will stop responding to your text messages with a shred of urgency once they have already sealed the deal (i.e. just to reiterate, again, I am talking about SEX. Good ol' finger banging, butt licking, steamy, sweaty sex).
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Guys All Women Encounter When Backpacking

Let's take it back to happier times, before the Big, Bad Rona. After four months of backpacking through South America, I have become quite the expert when it comes to the backpacking male species. Every new destination brought new guys my way. Of course, I inevitably fell in love with all of them.

Because I'm like, such a good friend, I feel that you should prep yourself before you wreck yourself (or before they wreck you), and have compiled a list of men boys you'll encounter during your travels.

To All the Boys (Who Backpack) I've Loved Before: this list is dedicated to your dumbasses. 

Guys women meet when backpacking | thumbnail includes picture of shirtless man Text - While you may have come to explore new cultures, the Man Whore is here to explore new women. His sole purpose on his travels is to rack up his hookup count, so the constant movement of backpacking is perfect for his lifestyle. New cities mean new titties. The Man Whore is a gorgeous specimen, which is why he's so successful at what he does.
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Historical Heartthrobs Who Deserve More Devoted Fangirls

This one is for all the history nerds out there! People don't exactly perceive history as sexy, but people tend to be wrong a lot of the time. We're here to set the record straight about that history can be hot when you're admiring certain historical figures. Forget your f*ckboy of the day,  and hop into our time machine. Who knew high school history class could be interesting?! Scroll down, and let us know which historical hotties we may have forgotten but you think are worth mentioning in the comments. 

The most attractive historical heartthrobs | thumbnail text - John F. Kennedy JFK is known as one of the sexiest presidents to ever grace the history of the USA. Kinda wishing I was the cigarette in his mouth right now, but I digress. He was a man of charisma and preppy style. His only character flaw? The infamous Kennedy curse. However, with those flawless looks, I might just risk the Kennedy curse to spend my life with him. Jackie O had the right idea. pe at Wi
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Twitter Reveals Why Being The Drunk Aunt At Family Functions Is The Best Lifestyle

Because I'm so blessed, I have had the pleasure of becoming a new aunt through my adorable, cherub niece. You may think all the responsibility falls to the parents of the new baby, but as a new aunt, I have quite the reputation to uphold. It's a given that aunts have to be drunk at every family function because everyone else is too dull to function. Behold - the drunk aunt! She has been all over the world and returns with wild stories and strange souvenirs for all her nieces and nephews. She also has a suspicious amount of money, and no one knows where it came from. Probably all the money she saved by not having kids, but I digress. The people of Twitter celebrate the iconic drunk aunt persona, and naturally, we documented the celebration for ya. Scroll down for the best-drunk aunt tweets. 

Funny tweets about being the drunk aunt | thumbnail tweet - Carly @i_carlaaay ... Yesterday my Uber driver told me I give him "cool aunt that brings tequila to Christmas and gets everyone drunk" energy, and I think that may go down as the best compliment I've ever received 10:20 PM · Mar 29, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone
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