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women's weekly funny horoscope | thumbnail image of woman pointing Text - Weekly Horoscopes Because astrology is cheaper than therapy

Your Weekly Nonsense Horoscope (November 30 - December 6)

women's weekly funny horoscope | thumbnail Text - Taurus Dollar signs are on the horizon this week - but only if you're not shy about it. Whether its asking for a promotion at work, or your sugar daddy to increase your weekly allowance, people are feeling more generous this Thanksgiving weekend.

Written In The Stars: Thanksgiving Weekly Horoscope (November 23 - 29)

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weekly women's funny horoscope | thumbnail Aries The sun moves to Jupiter this week, sprinkling some extra boldness and spontaneity into your spirit. Instead of obsessing over Mr. Dashing, Dark, & Handsome, slide into those DMs

Written In The Stars: Your Weekly Horoscope (November 16 - 22)

Weekly women's funny horoscope | thumbnail Go (Scorpio) shorty - it's your birthday month! Even though it's your special tim of the year, you may also encounter assholes who are trying to mess with your birthda vibes. If their sh*tty attitudes persist, stay true, and swiftly tel them to shut the f*ck up | Libra The sun will be blocked by Neptune in Pisces, so prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions. To prevent a complete meltdown, cut down on the crap in your life. Eliminate toxic frenemies

Written In The Stars: Your Weekly Horoscope (November 9 - 15)

pictures of satirical horoscopes zodiac signs - cover pic Libra | Libra (Sept 23 Oct 22 think unique because hormones are out wack right now, but news flash: so are everyone's s been crazy year and mood swings are off charts. Try and channel energy into some self-care this month, and invest some bath salts. Or some vodka. Or both!

Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate September Horoscopes

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pictures of satirical horoscopes zodiac signs - cover pic Aries You think you're outgoing unfortunately everyone else thinks you're a psycho | Aries (March 21 April 19 think outgoing, but unfortunately, everyone else thinks psycho. This month should work on leaving some of the crazy at home locked drawer. And then throw away key. But seriously though, chill f*ck out.

Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate July Horoscopes

horoscope zodiac satire June satirical star sign Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces | Taurus (April 20 May 20) At this point s clear 2020 is broken cannot be emphasized enough: THIS IS NOT TIME EXPERIMENT WITH HAIR. Just. Don't. Do Come back and try again 2021.

Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate June Horoscopes

horoscope, zodiac, satire, March, satirical, stars, prediction, star sign Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces

Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate April Horoscopes

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horoscope, zodiac, satire, March, satirical, stars, prediction, star sign Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces | 100% Factually Accurate Horoscopes Written Stars

Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate March Horoscopes

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30-year-old man refuses to loan $15,000 to 33-year-old cousin's budding food truck business, family tries to guilt-trip him due to his success: "I thought you'd be more generous than that"

30-year-old man refuses to loan $15,000 to 33-year-old cousin's budding food truck business, family tries to guilt-trip him due to his success: "I thought you'd be more generous than that"

26-year-old daughter refuses to go on the family beach house vacation after 23-year-old stepsister demands to get the bigger room and dad agrees: ‘He said I was being territorial’

26-year-old daughter refuses to go on the family beach house vacation after 23-year-old stepsister demands to get the bigger room and dad agrees: ‘He said I was being territorial’

22-year-old girlfriend sells boyfriend's Magic the Gathering cards behind his back, he gets revenge by selling her shoes: "You don't play anymore"

22-year-old girlfriend sells boyfriend's Magic the Gathering cards behind his back, he gets revenge by selling her shoes: "You don't play anymore"

26-year-old's aunt demands that he give 19-year-old cousin his old car for free, she refuses to pay him due to his success: "She's always had this weird resentment toward me for getting out of our small town and doing well"

26-year-old's aunt demands that he give 19-year-old cousin his old car for free, she refuses to pay him due to his success: "She's always had this weird resentment toward me for getting out of our small town and doing well"

31-year-old pushes away birthday cake when she whiffs chocolate from it, 29-year-old baker friend leaves in tears despite knowing about friend's allergy: "She claimed to have forgotten about my issues with chocolate"

31-year-old pushes away birthday cake when she whiffs chocolate from it, 29-year-old baker friend leaves in tears despite knowing about friend's allergy: "She claimed to have forgotten about my issues with chocolate"

Neighborhood mom gets blamed for "loading kids up on sugar" at her 6-year-old's birthday party, despite no one telling her food preferences: "I can't read minds"

Neighborhood mom gets blamed for "loading kids up on sugar" at her 6-year-old's birthday party, despite no one telling her food preferences: "I can't read minds"

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