funny tweets

When it comes to this here tag of Funny Tweets, it consists of any attempt on Twitter at comedy, without the necessary qualifier of succeeding. We also keep a list of top funny tweets that might be more along the lines of what you're looking for if you want actual funny tweets.

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funniest white lies people told | thumbnail text - Adam Gaylord @AuthorGaylord Me Pre-Kids: I'm never gonna lie to my kids ever. Me with Kids: I just got off the phone with Santa, the firefighter dog from Paw Patrol, and the Green Power Ranger, and they all agree, if you don't put your shoes on, they're gonna have to put down another unicorn. Public Librar MURSULAM @3sunzzz My husband pissed me off so when he wasn't looking I poured water on the floor in front of the dishwasher. He's been fixing

The Funny White Lies People Told To Try And Get Out Of Awkward Situations

cringiest Dms literally nobody asked for | thumbnail text - Hey Beautiful. How are you? 15:57 Sorry. Automatic message I apologize about that. Technology sucks. 16:02 Do you want to let ! won't know you've seen their message until you accept. message you? They Report conversation. Delete Acсept Blush You are now my big fat crus Crush I'm single as I can be You're single perfect for me I'm gonna give you a bunch of reasons why you should date me Reason number 1 I'm super hot

Cringiest DMs Literally No One Asked For

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Chaotic Astrology Tweets To Amuse The Non-Believers| thumbnail text - Magic Realism Bot @MagicRealismBot A psychic turns over a tarot card with a rainbow on it. 'Your destiny is to be eaten by a whale,' he says to you. 7:43 PM · Jul 9, 2021 · Borges Bot 199 Retweets 26 Quote Tweets 967 Likes

Chaotic Astrology Tweets To Amuse The Non-Believers

adulting tweets | thumbnail text -Kris Jong-Un @krishtun_ Adulting is cooking something and it not tasting the best but you eat it anyways because you bought those groceries so your money can't go to waste 1:35 AM · Jul 11, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

Fifteen Woeful Tweets That Define Adulting

psyho roommate tweets | thumbnail text -  @jessicat_j ... 6 years ago today I lost everything I owned in a house fire and then a couple months after that my roommate let some crazy people into my apartment and they stole the new clothes I bought, ran off together, and set them on fire in a different state 4:31 PM · Jul 5, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

Psycho Roommates Who Exist Solely To Destroy People's Livelihoods

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People Can't Stop Comparing 'Cars' Characters To Celebs, Now We Believe In Doppelgangers| thumbnail text - blue (błękit). @CIRCUMAMBIENCE · Jul 10 this car kind of looks like winston churchill

People Can't Stop Comparing 'Cars' Characters To Celebs, Now We Believe In Doppelgangers

funniest parenting tweets we saw this week - thumbnail | Text - Anna ... @AnnaDoesntWant2 The craziest thing about being a mom is how we'll make friends with anyone who lives near us and has kids the same age. You just killed a lady and turned her hair into a wig for your grandma? No thanks. Wait, did you say your kid is 3? Mine too! Come for dinner on Friday at 5:00? 7:45 PM Jul 3, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 42 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 238 Likes

Freshest Batch Of Funniest Parenting Tweets From This Week

people confess their rational and totally irrational fears | thumbnail text - Bob Gurnett @BoblsntFunny My three biggest fears in order: 3. Plane crash 2. Home invasion 1. Not remembering how you know someone and having to stumble through a polite conversation. Katie Haller @halleratyou My biggest fears in life are: -pigeons -rejection -clogging someone's toilet -failure -bcc emails -heights

People Confess Their Biggest Rational And Totally Irrational Fears

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drinking game tweets | thumbnail text - Big Chef Funz @Funabynature *Drinking game idea Take a shot every time they say 'Family' in Fast & Furious. 12:48 PM · Jul 6, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

Ridiculous Twitter Drinking Games We're Trying This Weekend

Funniest Relationship Tweets Which Make Us Skeptical Of Love | Thumbnail text - Robert Schultz @_RobertSchultz ... romcoms are like "HE is the misogynist CEO of a corporation that bulldozes orphanages to build banks for the military... SHE loves arts & crafts a little more than the average person... They BOTH have flaws." 11:47 PM · Jun 29, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1,152 Retweets 117 Quote Tweets 12.5K Likes

Funniest Relationship Tweets Which Make Us Skeptical Of Love

walks of shame tweets | thumbnail text -  Cat Herder ... @echo262 Going outside to sweep up the husks of bent sparklers, burnt out boxes of sparkling fountains and crushed cardboard tubes from jumping jacks is the Fourth of July equivalent of the walk of shame. 5:02 PM · Jul 5, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

Sexual And Non-Sexual Walks Of Shame Which Made Us Giggle

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People Are Tweeting Their Bizarre Celebrity Encounters, And They're Just So Silly| thumbnail text - Kevin Schultz BFXPRESSED WITH MODES @kevinrschultz We had the door to our office RESSED WIT open and someone was being loud in the hallway. I got up in a huff to tell them to STFU and close the door. It was Tracy Morgan. He came in and started telling jokes. I worked at a random tech startup that has absolutely nothing to do with him.

People Are Tweeting Their Bizarre Celebrity Encounters, And They're Just So Silly

funniest tweets from dads who nailed parenting this week | Thumbnail text - Tired Dad of 2 ... @Tired_Dad_of_2 (I wake up and pour my first coffee with my eyes barely open) 6: Daddy, where did the first humans come from? 4:23 PM · Jul 6, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 22 Retweets 131 Likes

Funniest Tweets From Dads Who Nailed Parenting This Week

funniest women roasting men tweets of the week| thumbnail Text - Participation Trophy Wife @TrophyWifeDayna Me: actively works out 6 days a week and eats healthy. Loses 1 pound. Husband: contemplates eating a vegetable. Loses 5 pounds. 6:49 PM · Jul 5, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 2 Retweets 98 Likes

Most Savage 'Women Roasting Men' Tweets We Saw This Week

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twitter life hacks | thumbnail text - Roy Stonks @Sir_WhiskersPhD ... Life Hack: If you blow out the candles before your dinner party has a chance to start singing happy birthday they'll start clapping and will forget to sing the song 5:08 AM · Jul 2, 2021 · Twitter for Android

Awesome Twitter Life Hacks We're Planning On Trying This Week

#WomenAreDelusional Is Trending On Twitter, And The Internet Is Confused| Thumbnail text - mia @fembotdisaster Men who tweet #WomenAreDelusional unironically look like this 1:27 AM Jul 6, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 212 Retweets 12 Quote Tweets

#WomenAreDelusional Is Trending On Twitter, And The Internet Is Confused