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funniest white lies people told | thumbnail text - Adam Gaylord @AuthorGaylord Me Pre-Kids: I'm never gonna lie to my kids ever. Me with Kids: I just got off the phone with Santa, the firefighter dog from Paw Patrol, and the Green Power Ranger, and they all agree, if you don't put your shoes on, they're gonna have to put down another unicorn. Public Librar MURSULAM @3sunzzz My husband pissed me off so when he wasn't looking I poured water on the floor in front of the dishwasher. He's been fixing

The Funny White Lies People Told To Try And Get Out Of Awkward Situations

Chaotic Astrology Tweets To Amuse The Non-Believers| thumbnail text - Magic Realism Bot @MagicRealismBot A psychic turns over a tarot card with a rainbow on it. 'Your destiny is to be eaten by a whale,' he says to you. 7:43 PM · Jul 9, 2021 · Borges Bot 199 Retweets 26 Quote Tweets 967 Likes

Chaotic Astrology Tweets To Amuse The Non-Believers

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People Can't Stop Comparing 'Cars' Characters To Celebs, Now We Believe In Doppelgangers| thumbnail text - blue (błękit). @CIRCUMAMBIENCE · Jul 10 this car kind of looks like winston churchill

People Can't Stop Comparing 'Cars' Characters To Celebs, Now We Believe In Doppelgangers

funniest parenting tweets we saw this week - thumbnail | Text - Anna ... @AnnaDoesntWant2 The craziest thing about being a mom is how we'll make friends with anyone who lives near us and has kids the same age. You just killed a lady and turned her hair into a wig for your grandma? No thanks. Wait, did you say your kid is 3? Mine too! Come for dinner on Friday at 5:00? 7:45 PM Jul 3, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 42 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 238 Likes

Freshest Batch Of Funniest Parenting Tweets From This Week

people reveal genius hacks for getting out of submitting homework on time | thumbnail text - Janine ... @jsbalek Replying to @TheMikeChase I actually convinced my fifth grade teacher that I submitted a massive project we all were supposed to have been working on for weeks that I never did and she just lost it. I can't believe I had the nerve. 5:54 AM · Jul 2, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

People Reveal Genius Hacks For Getting Out Of Submitting Homework On Time

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people confess their rational and totally irrational fears | thumbnail text - Bob Gurnett @BoblsntFunny My three biggest fears in order: 3. Plane crash 2. Home invasion 1. Not remembering how you know someone and having to stumble through a polite conversation. Katie Haller @halleratyou My biggest fears in life are: -pigeons -rejection -clogging someone's toilet -failure -bcc emails -heights

People Confess Their Biggest Rational And Totally Irrational Fears

smartass kids who outsmarted the adults in the room | thumbnail text - Megan @megan_coe She looks so sweet but today a woman asked her what her name was and she replied "Buttcrack" sO. I told my nephew, he could eat half my grapes. TTT TechnicallyTheTruth by mnsingh367 个5@ 86% O 3m

Smartass Kids Who Outsmarted The Adults In The Room

Funniest Relationship Tweets Which Make Us Skeptical Of Love | Thumbnail text - Robert Schultz @_RobertSchultz ... romcoms are like "HE is the misogynist CEO of a corporation that bulldozes orphanages to build banks for the military... SHE loves arts & crafts a little more than the average person... They BOTH have flaws." 11:47 PM · Jun 29, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1,152 Retweets 117 Quote Tweets 12.5K Likes

Funniest Relationship Tweets Which Make Us Skeptical Of Love

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People Are Tweeting Their Bizarre Celebrity Encounters, And They're Just So Silly| thumbnail text - Kevin Schultz BFXPRESSED WITH MODES @kevinrschultz We had the door to our office RESSED WIT open and someone was being loud in the hallway. I got up in a huff to tell them to STFU and close the door. It was Tracy Morgan. He came in and started telling jokes. I worked at a random tech startup that has absolutely nothing to do with him.

People Are Tweeting Their Bizarre Celebrity Encounters, And They're Just So Silly

Savage Tweets Reminding Mansplainers That Literally Nobody Asked| Thumbnail text - katie rosman @katierosman My husband just said he doesn't think I really grasp the concept of mansplaining and so he mansplained it to me. 10:20 PM · Jul 5, 2021 · Twitter Web App 4 Retweets 171 Likes

Savage Tweets Reminding Mansplainers That Literally Nobody Asked

funniest women roasting men tweets of the week| thumbnail Text - Participation Trophy Wife @TrophyWifeDayna Me: actively works out 6 days a week and eats healthy. Loses 1 pound. Husband: contemplates eating a vegetable. Loses 5 pounds. 6:49 PM · Jul 5, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 2 Retweets 98 Likes

Most Savage 'Women Roasting Men' Tweets We Saw This Week

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#WomenAreDelusional Is Trending On Twitter, And The Internet Is Confused| Thumbnail text - mia @fembotdisaster Men who tweet #WomenAreDelusional unironically look like this 1:27 AM Jul 6, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 212 Retweets 12 Quote Tweets

#WomenAreDelusional Is Trending On Twitter, And The Internet Is Confused

funniest women tweets we came across this week | thumbnail text - limp brittzkit @Brittymigs ... Bathing suit companies these days are like "Oh you have labia? Sorry!!!! We don't do that :/" 7:29 PM · Jun 28, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 2,362 Retweets 167 Quote Tweets 34.5K Likes

Funny Women Tweets Because Women Are Funnier Than Men

Non-Boomers Expose Their Boomer-iest Opinions| thumbnail text - boissondevin • 13h 13 Awards I don't want my damn refrigerator connected to the internet. It has one job. G Reply 1 22.4k 3

Non-Boomers Expose Their Boomer-iest Opinions

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British Tweets That Are Equal Parts Silly And Bloody Clever| thumbnail text - No Context Brits @NoContextBrits How long did this interview last?

British Tweets That Are Equal Parts Silly And Bloody Clever

Women's Memes That Make Us Go, 'Mmm, Yes'| thumbnail text - m. diane ... @CULTMOTHER told my boyfriend I was going to start my period and he said, "AGAIN??" it's like, you know what, you're right, I'm cancelling my subscription. 11:15 PM · Jun 11, 2018 · Twitter for Android 116.2K Retweets 2,606 Quote Tweets 507.2K Likes

Women's Memes That Made Us Go, 'Mmm, Yes'

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Woman kicks ex-sister-in-law off of the family Spotify plan, accidentally sparks family conflict: 'She chose to leave the family, so she gave up any family-related benefits'

Woman kicks ex-sister-in-law off of the family Spotify plan, accidentally sparks family conflict: 'She chose to leave the family, so she gave up any family-related benefits'

25 Best Friend Memes, From Mildly Relatable to "Absolutely Us"

25 Best Friend Memes, From Mildly Relatable to "Absolutely Us"

'I spent nearly the entirety of the relationship wondering what else was out there': Women reflect on settling, regrets, and finally ending things

'I spent nearly the entirety of the relationship wondering what else was out there': Women reflect on settling, regrets, and finally ending things

23-year-old woman refuses to give back necklace that ex-boyfriend gave her on her birthday, '[He said] it "feels wrong" that I'm still wearing it'

23-year-old woman refuses to give back necklace that ex-boyfriend gave her on her birthday, '[He said] it "feels wrong" that I'm still wearing it'

26-year-old woman refuses to move out of ex-boyfriend's house after breaking up with him, demanding his help since she has nowhere to go: ‘Ending the relationship has consequences’

26-year-old woman refuses to move out of ex-boyfriend's house after breaking up with him, demanding his help since she has nowhere to go: ‘Ending the relationship has consequences’

'He's making it out like I'm some jealous psycho': Woman refuses to let boyfriend invite his female BFF over after he tries to convince her that the only option would be to sleep in the same bed together

'He's making it out like I'm some jealous psycho': Woman refuses to let boyfriend invite his female BFF over after he tries to convince her that the only option would be to sleep in the same bed together

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