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Kids Are The Ultimate Savage Roasters (18 Tweets and Posts)

Kids are the ultimate savage roasters because they're honest and don't hold back. At all. 

But it does make for some funny and interesting stories! And for that, we are grateful. 

If you're in the mood for more everyday kid shenanigans that parents have to deal with, check out these tweets from this week!

kids roast funny tweets | Pwynce Wyn @WynRichards My 6yo daughter just caught getting out shower looks like minion 32 9:42 PM Aug 26, 2016
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (August 2, 2020)

Have kids they said. It will be fun they said. Or, as one parent accurately tweeted this week: "I hate when you want to be the best mother and wife ever but you also need to like eat, sleep and take the occasional shower." Yep, sounds about right! 

Here are some of this week's funniest parenting tweets and here are last week's in case you missed them. 

funniest parenting tweets - tweet about son who wiped booger on dads pillow | Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy My son wiped booger on pillow while were sitting on my bed watching TV. He saw my face and said Don't worry, Mommy Daddy's pillow guess 's fair. 7:11 PM Jul 31, 2020 Buffer
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Parents Reveal Most Expensive Things Their Children Ruined By Mistake

Having kids is a true blessing, but sometimes they can test our patience to unhealthy levels. For example, one thing that young children aren't so good at is understanding the value of money or valuables. So when they accidentally break something expensive or irreplaceable, unfortunately, you can't be too mad at them. Parents of Reddit have revealed the most expensive things their children ruined by mistake and I can only imagine the self-restraint they had to exercise in order to not kill their kids on the spot! 

parents reveal most expensive things their kids ruined by mistake - cover pic story of kid putting laptop in sink | feedmeacid 8.5k points 2 years ago Watching netflix as doing dishes. Had poop. 3 year old daughter drags kitchen chair up sink, decides help do dishes while im on toilet. Goodbye $1200 laptop is now soaked about gallon water.
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Awkward Texts That Were Sent To Parents By Mistake

Everyone knows and can relate to the anxiety caused by sending a text to the wrong person. Whether it's to your boss, an ex-boyfriend, or sending a text about someone to that person by mistake, these slip-ups can cause a mini heart-attack each time. But perhaps the worst is when you send a text to your parents containing some sort of sexually explicit message that was clearly meant for someone else. The stress that causes, is another level, and reading through these texts can give you a taste of just how bad some kids have put their foot in it. 

awkward texts that kids sent to their parents by mistake | Mom Edit If my family asks just say are my roommate can't deal with this coming out right now. Ok so would like pretend didn't see And continue pretending not know always known since were 5? Well wasn't supposed happen. Can't wait meet roommate xoxoxoxo Omg mom stop | Daddy Contact Read 12:45 AM Did mean send this Answer phone NOW Are serious Is this is do whole at School
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Redditors Reveal: People Whose Parents Walked In On Them Having Sex

There are a few things you definitely don't want your parents catching you doing, especially when you're a teenager. Watching porn and doing drugs are a few of the things that come to mind, but the worst thing in the world for your parents to walk in on? Yep, you guessed it. Having sex. There's not really any coming back from your parents walking in on you doing the dirty (think American Pie) and you just have to accept that things will never be normal again. These Redditors reveal just how awkward things got when their parents caught them mid romp and we're cringing so hard for these poor individuals. Read on and you'll see what I mean...

redditors reveal what happened when their parents walked in on them having sex - cover pic not my parents but her parents. I yelled out loud "we were westling". Very awkwar
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Children Of Strict Parents Tweet Their “Weirdest Rules” Growing Up

When you grow up, you assume that everything your parents say is true. After all, adults know everything, right? All those rules you had imposed on you that might have seemed slightly weird at the time, you just took as a given. It's only once you grow up and discuss them with other adults that you realize how fricken weird they were! A tweet asking people who had strict parents what the "weirdest rule they had growing up" was, has revealed some hilarious and weird practices that will either make you feel like you're not alone or be grateful that your parents weren't THIS weird! 

people tweet rules from strict parents growing up - cover pic tweet I could have action figures with no guns and no print on my tshirts | Kyle BLM @SpaceLeftEmpty Replying The_Dingus_Khan could have action figures but if they came with guns, all those went into trash. Absolutely no t-shirts with any kind print on them or name brand shoes because won't allow be walking billboard
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Satirical Twitter Thread About Why Babies Are Problematic

Today's society assumes that everyone wants to be a parent. And while many people do, there are plenty who don't and their rights and opinions are are equally as valid as those who do want kids. Someone started a hilarious Twitter thread listing all of the reasons why babies are problematic, which, although meant as a joke, does raise some points which those who choose not to have kids might use in support of their argument. Read through this funny thread and see how much you agree with the points! 

funny twitter thread on why babies are problematic - cover pic ash @ARTSHL3Y 3) they especially prey on women. women lose sleep, their own BODILY FLUIDS, and sanity all just these misogynists are still allowing and supporting this 7:00 PM May 9, 2019 Twitter iPhone
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Woman Agrees To Be Surrogate For Her Influencer Daughter's Child

Breanna Lockwood, a 29 influencer from Chicago, together with her husband Aaron, 28, has been struggling to conceive naturally for many years. Having undergone several surgeries, various attempts at harvesting eggs and failed embryo transfers, as well as miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies, they have decided to take drastic measures to get pregnant. 

Breanna's 51-year-old mother has lovingly offered to be a surrogate mother for her daughter's child and is now carrying their baby which was conceived back in March. Although Julie (Breanna's mom) is 51 and surrogate mothers must be 35 or younger in order to carry a baby, her exceptional health means that she was approved and could help give her daughter the ultimate gift. Check out the adorable pictures so far of their incredible and unique journey.

mother surrogate child grandchild inspirational heartwarming parents offer love | pregnant woman holding hands with another woman who is staring into a man's eyes MADE WITH LOTS LOVE, AND LITTLE BIT SCIENCE
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Funny Tweets From Parents About What 'Alone Time' Means At The Moment

Parenting is hard at the best of times, but during lockdown, getting some alone time is nearly impossible. Yes, we all love our kids, but being around them 24/7 is sometimes a little. Too. Much. And by that, we mean a total nightmare! These parents have a thing or two to say about it and have taken to Twitter to vent their frustrations about never having a minute of peace and quiet to themselves. The funny parents of Twitter are at it again...

parents tweet alone time funny twitter coronavirus quarantine parenting | Animal - Divergent Mama @Divergentmama Homeschooling Tip: if count Tiktok their rooms as kids music, dance and PE classes might get few hours alone peace.
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Kids Who Thought Outside The Box

When it comes to life hacks, kids know how to do it best. Whether it's to get out of being in trouble with their parents or at school, they've always got a trick or two up their sleeves. Because let's face it, if they can get away with it, they'll do it. These kids show us how it's done by finding cheeky, yet simple solutions to the problems life throws at them. 

kids think outside box parent fails funny pictures kids these days | The ladder my 4-year-old son built to steal the leftover candy from Halloween
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Funny Tweets Describing Generational Gaps

Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, Gen Z... the olden days... where do these new definitions end? Between all the new technology that's coming out every two minutes and the economic hardships that face young people today, it's hard not to compare the generations gone by to the times we're living in now. These tweets perfectly sum up the differences between growing up in our parents and grandparents' time, vs today and they're funny, relatable, and accurate (if not a little depressing). 

funny tweets generational gap twitter generation z generation x | steph @liftinglentils "millenials spend all their money on luxuries says generation insists on having expensive sets good" plates as well as regular plates as if anyone gives sh.t
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Parents Reveal Things Their Children Did, Suggesting They Lived Past Lives

Kids say some crazy things, which make us laugh and roll our eyes. But sometimes, kids say some super creepy stuff which can weird you out and make you question everything. A Reddit thread asking parents to share things their kids did, which suggested they may have lived a past life, revealed some truly terrifying answers. Scroll through for some creepy stuff and decide whether you think these kids are speaking from the beyond.

parents children past lives kids creepy weird the past | fridayfridayjones 1.3k points 3 years ago my sister 3 she would go on and on about her brother, Brian all girls, and don't know where she would have heard name. But all, Brian does this Brian and used do on and on. Thinking Brian an imaginary friend asked her where Brian now. She said "he's dead am, too bomb got us and our house is gone Very weird.
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Strange Things People's Cameras Caught Their Babysitters Doing

Every parent knows how hard it is to leave their children with a babysitter. After all, your kids are your life and soul, and trusting them with another human being who isn't related to them is a big deal. But even harder than that is finding a good babysitter who you can trust. One option is to always have a Nanny Cam up so that you can check in to see how they are fairing with your children when you aren't there... because you can never be too careful, right? 

A Reddit thread asking people to share the things they've caught their babysitters doing has revealed some heartwarming but also some shocking stories. Just shows you can never really know what's going on when you're not there... 

strange reddit camera babysitter spy spying things parents | Friend caught hers rummaging through her closet and stealing blouse. She confronted her about she returned home, and woman played innocent. She wearing fi ig blouse.
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Parents of Reddit Share The Weirdest Stuff They've Caught Their Children Doing

Kids say and do some pretty weird things. It's just how they're built; they have no filter and not a care in the world. As they get older, they (hopefully) develop a sense of what's socially appropriate and what isn't, but until that happens, kids will be weird and wonderful kids, doing some pretty strange stuff in the process. A Reddit thread asking parents to share the weirdest things they've caught their children doing has revealed some hilariously strange confessions, some of the funniest are below for your viewing pleasure and amusement. 

parents weird kids reddit children share parenting | Bhavana1234 1.9k points 1 month ago My son licked my toe asked him he doing, and he said time traveling He three
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Funny Tweets About The Reality Of Parenting Teenagers

All stages of parenting are hard. When your kids are newborns, you don't sleep and when the 'terrible twos' hit, you have to deal with tantrums all day. But when they reach the teenage stage, well, that's a whole new ball game of difficult. Those teenage hormones will control your life and there's absolutely no telling how it will go. These parents describe just how difficult and frustrating it is being the parents of teenagers and how nobody can be prepared for it however hard they try.

funny tweets teenagers parents fail twitter | Steve Olivas @steveolivas At airport. Just kissed 13yo son on his forehead. He reacted like Dracula getting impaled by wooden stake.
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