lol

I don't know about you, but when I was a child I had literally no concept of money whatsoever. Because my parents wouldn't let me eat Kraft Mac and Cheese, I assumed it was expensive, and thus too nice for us. Boy was I mistaken. Now that I'm an adult, I still feel luxurious every time I pour out the powdered bright yellow 'cheese' all over the little noods. Every time it makes me feel like I've really made it.

Crushes are harmless, right? I mean, if someone is genuinely interested in pursuing things with someone would they still refer to them as their 'crush'? It was definitely a phrase that was passed around much more often in grade school. But I suppose adults still get crushes, and then the only difference is they can actually marry their crush, like even that day if they were feeling it.

As you all know, Wonder Woman is an amazing asset to our society. She's strong and fast, and she'll whip the truth right out of people with that golden lasso. But lately, I've been thinking there might be a truth that needs to get whipped out of HER: who is she, really? Most of us know her real name is Diana Prince but doesn't that sound awfully similar to...Princess Diana? You know, the widely-adored, allegedly deceased princess of Wales? Once I noticed this subtle detail, I couldn't stop seeing the similarities. It's uncanny! Have a look for yourself…

We all have sketchy thoughts from time to time. It is what it is, we are flawed disgusting human beings. There is no point in trying to hide it anymore! Just kidding the majority of these sound very relatable, weird, but relatable. Sometimes we can think up some crazy logic, and confession is a great way to ease off the guilt of having such thoughts. And it's madly entertaining. Seriously, I live for this stuff, weird confessions, unpopular opinions, hot-takes, they are the best.

A child's job is basically to just make a mistake, then learn a lesson, then make a different mistake, and learn a different lesson. They are adorable little sponges that absorb everything around them and eventually gain enough confidence to make their own decisions. So sweet isn't it? Well, spoiler alert, the mistakes never really stop, it's kind of a central part of being a human. But if we're lucky they might be a little less silly than the ones we made we were itty bitty.

We all know the ick. It's an uncontrollable feeling that immediately, well, drys everything up. It's different for each person, and I'm sorry to say that the consequences are sometimes irreversible. Are we really surprised though, there are about a million unexplainable things that humans experience every day, the ick is just one more. My advice? Don't worry about what you do and whether it gives people the ick, because when its the right person they will look at you and think, "Yum!"

Ever found yourself with a full bladder and a difficult decision to make? Let me set the scene better. You're at a place where only guys live, maybe it's a frat house, your boyfriend's apartment that he shares with four roommates, it doesn't really matter. You gotta go, but you have no idea what the situation is in their bathroom. There could be pee all over the seat, no toilet paper, detergent in the place of hand soap — the options are limitless. It's like a game.

Ah, Valentine's Day. You can smell the romance in the air. Or wait *sniff sniff* I think that's just pollution. Silly me. But for real whatever your relationship status, this Valentine's Day is going to be weird regardless. But one thing that will never change is the ability of Tumblr users to post the silliest, wittiest Valentine's day card meme. Now, let's laugh our way through this day, shall we? Because these are actually funny af.

A very unique Super Bowl took place yesterday. An audience 2/3 full of cardboard cutouts, creepy backup dancers, and very very mixed reviews.

Believe it or not, there are people out there who watch the game simply to watch the game. But if you're anything like us, you would rather relish in the snacks, chuckle at the occasional snarky commercial, and, find ways to kill time until the halftime show. These days, however, there is also another component, the hilarious tweets that begin to roll out almost immediately. Whether you won, lost, didn't watch, don't have any idea what we're talking about — you'll probably still enjoy these witty tweets.

It's time to enhance your life and get what's yours with Cheezcake's resident Karen! She's the classiest confidante in town, sharing the secrets to living her best life on a weekly basis. To all the soccer moms who would love nothing more than to spend their Sunday afternoons bitching out the manager, Karen is your new best friend. She understands you, she cherishes you, and she advises you always.

For more incredible advice from Karen, email dearkaren.cheezcake@gmail.com. 

Haven't been receiving the respect you deserve lately? Have no fear - your local neighborhood Karen is here to turn your life around! With her top-notch tips, you'll be living the life you've always dreamed of in no time. Everyone will be giving you exactly what you want when you want it, forever and always.

For more incredible advice from Karen, email dearkaren.cheezcake@gmail.com. 

"Have kids," they said. "It will be fun," they said. Said no parent ever! Sure, babies are adorable. Yes, they are the apples of your eye. Of course, they make you beam with so much pride and love that you could burst. But, when you channel that same intensity of emotion into your feelings when your toddler tips all the cat food on the floor, puts your keys in the toaster, or draws all over the freshly-painted walls, then you might relate to the frustration in these pictures. Because the truth about parenting is, there will be times when you want to literally murder your kids. Or at least give them up for adoption for a week or two, because, like, come on, you deserve a f*cking break! Parents, can you relate?

No one in your life seems to understand that you deserve your world and more. No one except your local neighborhood Karen! Imagine a reality where you could get whatever you want when you want it.

Karen is here to offer you weekly quality advice, advice that will guarantee your best life from here on out. Screw the managers you've dealt with in the past, and embrace Karen as your life manager instead!

For more incredible advice from Karen, email dearkaren.cheezcake@gmail.com.

At this point in history, we're all well aware that life is a total hot mess. All of us have hopes and dreams, with no idea how to accomplish them. All of us have struggles and problems, with no idea how to solve them. 

Have no fear - in honor of 2021, your local neighborhood Karen is here!  

With Karen's advice, you'll get everything your little heart desires because you deserve the world and more, and anyone who gets in your way should be fired immediately. Do they know who they're speaking to? The audacity!

Shut the F up, and listen the F up because Karen has many words of wisdom to bestow upon you. If you're looking for more quality advice from Karen, email her at dearkaren.cheezcake@gmail.com.

If you are a woman who interacts with members of the opposite sex, chances are you have had something you already know condescendingly explained to you by an overconfident man. Dubbed "mansplaining" by tired women, it has been well-documented and cleverly mocked online. Some women even make up extra-douchey characters and pretend to mansplain to show just how silly it looks. But mansplaining is so common and often so absurd that you can't always tell who's serious and who's just playing a character. So here's your chance to test your powers of detection! Each of the following posts was either written by a real know-it-all of a man, or by a woman pretending to mansplain. Can you figure out which is which? Good luck!

All first-time parents can relate to the never-ending, panic-inducing task of sterilizing their baby's bottles. All. Day. Long. Seriously, the lengths we go to keep our eldest kids safe, ensuring that every piece of feeding equipment has been washed with hot water, soaked in bleach, and then washed in more hot water. Just in case we missed a microbe of dirt. Our hands may be scalded and raw, but we'll do anything to keep our babies protected, right?

Meanwhile, our little angels sit there eating trash out of the garbage, picking up bits of dirt from the floor, and putting anything and everything they can find in their mouths. I mean, what is the point?! And so, when it comes to our second child, quite frankly, they can eat whatever they want, from wherever they want. And sterilization can f*ck right off!