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women's weekly funny horoscope | thumbnail image of woman pointing Text - Weekly Horoscopes Because astrology is cheaper than therapy

Your Weekly Nonsense Horoscope (November 30 - December 6)

pictures of satirical horoscopes zodiac signs - cover pic Libra | Libra (Sept 23 Oct 22 think unique because hormones are out wack right now, but news flash: so are everyone's s been crazy year and mood swings are off charts. Try and channel energy into some self-care this month, and invest some bath salts. Or some vodka. Or both!

Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate September Horoscopes

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pictures of satirical horoscopes zodiac signs - cover pic Aries You think you're outgoing unfortunately everyone else thinks you're a psycho | Aries (March 21 April 19 think outgoing, but unfortunately, everyone else thinks psycho. This month should work on leaving some of the crazy at home locked drawer. And then throw away key. But seriously though, chill f*ck out.

Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate July Horoscopes

horoscope zodiac satire June satirical star sign Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces | Taurus (April 20 May 20) At this point s clear 2020 is broken cannot be emphasized enough: THIS IS NOT TIME EXPERIMENT WITH HAIR. Just. Don't. Do Come back and try again 2021.

Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate June Horoscopes