horoscopes

September has begun, and you know what that means? There's only one more month until we can say "next month, there's only one month until the last month of 2020." Did that give you a headache? Me too, but that's OK because Autumn brings with it pumpkin-spiced everything, and nothing bad can happen when you've got a Salted Caramel Pumpkin Latte in your hand. But let's not tempt fate.

Just in case, we've checked to see what the celestial bodies have in store for you this month. Because with one quarter left of 2020, surely things can't get any worse. Right?! Here are your September horoscopes, based on... well, not much to be honest with you. 

Forgive us for being a little late with your horoscopes this month, but we've been busy bees. With July seeing the world getting into somewhat of a semblance of normality, we thought it was time to serve you a big ol' slice of reality pie. Therapy might be expensive, but star signs are not. So before you go investing in finding a shrink, check out what we have to say about your upcoming month. Pay attention, we know what we're talking about! 

The stars are a bit like your therapist, your best friend, and your mom; sometimes they have good advice. Other times, they really, really don't. Either way, reading your horoscope is cheaper than therapy, so here are your 100% factually (maybe) accurate predictions for June.

And in case you missed it, check out your April Horoscopes to see if anything has changed for you since then! Or, if your life is pretty much the same. Old. Cr*p.

This delightful list is just as beautiful and just as valid as any other horoscope we've ever seen. Thank you, Tommy Siegel, for bringing your vision to life and sharing it with all of us. 

While horoscopes usually tend to be a source of those feel-good prophecies about the near future, not everybody sees them the same way. Take Toronto-based artist Amrit Brar for example, who has crafted a dark humor-induced version she called 'Shitty Horoscopes.' Scroll down to see your fortune.