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Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate July Horoscopes

Forgive us for being a little late with your horoscopes this month, but we've been busy bees. With July seeing the world getting into somewhat of a semblance of normality, we thought it was time to serve you a big ol' slice of reality pie. Therapy might be expensive, but star signs are not. So before you go investing in finding a shrink, check out what we have to say about your upcoming month. Pay attention, we know what we're talking about! 

pictures of satirical horoscopes zodiac signs - cover pic Aries You think you're outgoing unfortunately everyone else thinks you're a psycho | Aries (March 21 April 19 think outgoing, but unfortunately, everyone else thinks psycho. This month should work on leaving some of the crazy at home locked drawer. And then throw away key. But seriously though, chill f*ck out.
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Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate June Horoscopes

The stars are a bit like your therapist, your best friend, and your mom; sometimes they have good advice. Other times, they really, really don't. Either way, reading your horoscope is cheaper than therapy, so here are your 100% factually (maybe) accurate predictions for June.

And in case you missed it, check out your April Horoscopes to see if anything has changed for you since then! Or, if your life is pretty much the same. Old. Cr*p.

horoscope zodiac satire June satirical star sign Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces | Taurus (April 20 May 20) At this point s clear 2020 is broken cannot be emphasized enough: THIS IS NOT TIME EXPERIMENT WITH HAIR. Just. Don't. Do Come back and try again 2021.
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Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate April Horoscopes

The stars are a bit like your therapist, your best friend, and your mom; sometimes they have good advice. Other times, they really, really don't. Either way, reading your horoscope is cheaper than therapy, so here are your 100% factually (maybe) accurate predictions for April.

And in case you missed it, check out your March Horoscopes to see if last month brought you what you wanted!

horoscope, zodiac, satire, March, satirical, stars, prediction, star sign Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces
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Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate March Horoscopes

The stars are a bit like your therapist, your best friend, and your mom; sometimes they have good advice. Other times, they really, really don't. Either way, reading your horoscope is cheaper than therapy, so here are your 100% factually (maybe) accurate predictions for March.

And in case you missed it, check out your February Horoscopes to see if the month of love brought you what you wanted!

horoscope, zodiac, satire, March, satirical, stars, prediction, star sign Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces | 100% Factually Accurate Horoscopes Written Stars
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Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate February Horoscopes

The stars are a bit like your therapist, your best friend, and your mom; sometimes they have good advice. Other times, they really, really don't. Either way, reading your horoscope is cheaper than therapy, so here are your 100% factually (maybe) accurate predictions for February.

And in case you missed it, check out your New Year's Horoscopes to get a full overview of your 2020 zodiac signs.

horoscope, zodiac, satire, February, satirical, stars, prediction, star sign | your 100% factually accurate horoscope written in the stars capricorn aquarius pisces aries taurus gemini cancer leo virgo libra scorpio saggitarius
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Factually (Maybe) Accurate 2020 Horoscopes

It's 2020 and somehow we're in a brand new decade — how did that happen and where did 2019 go?!

The glistening clean slate of a brand new year beckons and those New Year's resolutions are begging to be written. They say that those who fail to plan, plan to fail, and quite frankly if you're not looking to the stars and planets for your resolutions inspiration, then what are you even doing?

We know how debilitating those holiday hangovers can be and just in case they've taken their toll on you, we're here to help motivate your New Year's resolutions. Check out these 100% factually accurate predictions for what the universe has in store for the new year, the new decade and the new you, and get writing!

2020 zodiac horoscopes totally factual Capricorn Libra Aquarius Leo Sagittarius Cancer Pisces Aries Taurus Gemini Virgo Scorpio
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Things You Probably Didn't Know About The Horoscope Signs

Get some more useful info about your sign in these adorable comics. And yes, one is indeed missing but it will be featured soon so follow Tom Siegel

funny astrology memes
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