horoscope

Astrology is definitely not for everyone. People tend to have extremely strong feelings about it for whatever reason. There are literally people who say that their deal-breaker is someone who cares about astrology, and then others who say the opposite. Obviously, it is to each their own, however, maybe we could all chill out for a bit and just feel entertained by some silly astrology Tweets. No strings attached we promise.

The astrology side of Twitter is nothing if not chaotic. Every sign is roasting the next while boasting about how elite their own is. There are some extremely general horoscopes posted each day as well. For example, this Leo season, apparently Earth signs should be expecting love. If your life doesn't revolve around astrology, the Earth signs are Virgo, Taurus, and Capricorn. So watch out you granola peeps, love is coming your way according to Twitter. Also, happy birthday you insane Leos, we genuinely fear you.

Ah, astrology. You either hate it or you love it. The funny thing is that there are equally as many people posting on Twitter about how horoscope lovers are a major turn-off as there are people who post that hating astrology is not a character trait in itself. But however you feel about the stars, these Tweets are objectively hilarious. If you believe in it, take from these what you will. If you wouldn't be found dead at a tarot reading, just enjoy the chaotic energy that can be easily found in the astrology section of Twitter.

Astrology can be really overwhelming, and also highly addictive. You may think you don't give a flying f*ck about any of it, and then suddenly you follow a single Twitter thread that's talking about how amazing your sign is and suddenly you wake up with a horizontal '69' tattooed on your ribcage. Hey, it happens, don't fret, just read your horoscope and take a nappy-poo.

Whether or not you give a flying frick about astrology, or horoscopes, or the economy (idk), it really doesn't make much of a difference. These trains keep chugging on whether we hop on or not. We can try to understand them, and maybe it'll add a little spice to our life, or, maybe it'll just be more information we would rather not be aware of. Regardless of where you stand, these very over-the-top Tweets about astrology are always entertaining.

Happy Cancer season losers.

It's no secret that the stars dictate our lives, from job promotions to friendships to sex lives. Obviously, hot girl summer calls for a helluva lot of partying, and drunchies (read: drunk food cravings) are inevitable to follow. Because the cosmos call the shots about literally everything, it makes sense that our deepest food cravings would be inexplicably tied to our horoscope. Because science, b*tch. In conclusion, you're entitled to scarf down the following drunchies all summer because the zodiac says so. You're welcome. 

Astrology can be very confusing to those of us who never looked too much into it. From the outside, it looks like this crazy cult where people let the positioning of the stars dictate their life decisions. Sure, when you put it like that it might seem frivolous. But there are so many crazier superstitions people hold, and a lot of actual history backing up the observation of astrology. Basically, if you can enjoy the interesting aspects without having it take over your entire life, that's a good place to be.

So for any casual astrologers out there, here are some funny Tweets that you might just relate to.

You don't have to know a lot about astrology to realize there is always something in the air. Either some planet is retrograding, or some evil moon is rising, or some sign is losing their mind. The stars really know how to keep us on our toes. The astrologers of Twitter are amazing at delivering the most recent horoscope shifts in very humorous and inspiring ways. For people who love astrology, these tweets probably seem really clever, but for those of us who are clueless about zodiac sh*t, these are just so extra it's funny.

We're all well aware that it's 4/20, but are you aware that today's the day we kick off Taurus season? Because you should be! They're super sweet, loyal AF friends that will be there for you forever and always, and it's their time to shine and sparkle! Whether or not you're into the horoscope craze, it's still the season of the bull, which calls to celebrate your Taurus friends on a daily basis. The horoscope enthusiasts of Twitter are already on top of their game when it comes to ushering in #TaurusSzn! Scroll down for some fire Taurus tweets to kick off the season. 

Astrologers are everywhere these days. You might not know this yet but the best place to get the tea on the current attitude of the stars and the moon is via Twitter. If you're unfamiliar with this world, there are people who supplying non-stop advice on horoscopes and it's genuinely hard not to find it all hilarious when you know nothing about astrology.

Depending on your interest, these tweets can either make you feel like you are learning something new and exciting about the world, or they can make you worried that some people simply have way too much time on their hands. Whatever the case may be, enjoy!

Have you ever tried having a conversation with someone who speaks a completely different language than you? You both do your best to understand each other, you might try some exaggerated facial expressions and hand movements, but it gets very frustrating very fast. Well, this is kind of how it can feel talking to someone who depends on their entire life on their birth chart. Once they get into it, you can do your best to make sense of it, but really the deeper they go, the more complex it gets. 

At the end of the day, these people do basically speak a whole different language, and it's not even an entirely useless one considering millions of people really do follow astrology every day.

My strategy when discussing astrology is to simply smile and nod my head every few seconds. Maybe it'll work for you too? You can practice while reading these tweets.

Does anyone else get very amused, but lowkey frightened, by people who are so invested in astrology? Like, I want to laugh at them, but sometimes I wonder if they're on to something far too complex for me to understand... eh, probably not. People who spend all day analyzing their star chart, and predicting the next time mercury is in retrograde, well at least they've found something they're passionate about. Plus their tweets are so funny without even trying, and for that reason I love them. Thank you, contemporary astrologers, for your unintentionally hilarious tweets.

Idk about you, but people who know a lot about astrology genuinely terrify me. I never thought twice about my sign except when throwing around ideas for my first tattoo. I looked up the characteristics a few times and thought, "Sure..."

But if I go up to someone who knows everything about my sign I start hearing, "OMG you're such a Capricorn." And so I've had to just accept that they see something else that I can't. Maybe it's BS maybe it's not, but I'm so sorry it's genuinely hilarious to see these tweets out of context.

Y'all just keep doing your thing, it's very entertaining.

A new month marks the start of something new up in the sky. Has everything been out of whack lately? The stars are rearranging once again, and this time around, they just might align in your favor. Hop on my horoscopes spaceship and read on to find out if the universe is working with or against you this week.

City of stars, are you shining just for us? Hell yes, they are! Forealz, what the hell would we do without the trusty universe to guide us into our obscure futures? We would be more lost than we already are, which is pretty difficult to fathom. So come on, vamonos, everybody let's go for a ride into the cosmos together! 

I bet you have no idea what's flying this week. It's all good because neither do I. Luckily, we can always rely on the stars and planets of the universe for guidance. Because when you follow the cosmos, everything will magically fall into place. So hop on my spaceship and ride into infinity and beyond with me!