You gotta keep that good flirt-to-roast ratio

Once you have the rejection hotline number memorized, it's time to find a new dating pool.

BEWARE: Only silver-tongued sleuths sliding into everyone's DMs over here

Feisty females unite

Shoot your shot

Facts

The perfect guy doesn't have a fish in his dating app profile pic

Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful union of two souls, but if you're not careful, it can quickly become a union of two egos. That's why it's so so so important to marry your best friend, because who else can you laugh your a$$ off morning, day, and night? See, when you build your relationship on the foundation of friendship and laughter, you're not just promising to love each other for better or for worse , but also through the occasional farts and embarrassing moments. Trust us, there's no…

Just in time for the most romantic day of the year.

That actually does make us feel better.

One surefire way to get your crush's attention is to roast the heck out of them. You're welcome.

Rad ladies being funny

Arguably much wittier and satisfying than pick-up lines

Always clap back, ladies

Oops, we said it.... and we'll say it again.