Valentines day

Ah, Valentine's Day. You can smell the romance in the air. Or wait *sniff sniff* I think that's just pollution. Silly me. But for real whatever your relationship status, this Valentine's Day is going to be weird regardless. But one thing that will never change is the ability of Tumblr users to post the silliest, wittiest Valentine's day card meme. Now, let's laugh our way through this day, shall we? Because these are actually funny af.

Whenever Valentine's day rolls around, I can't help but remember the weirdest Valentine's day first date I ever had. This was a few years ago now, but it still feels like just yesterday, because it was literally wild. I agreed to go out with this guy from my gym, let's call him Doug. I was single and ready to be swept off my feet, so when he proposed a special Valentine's day dinner and dancing event, I was psyched! Only when I got there...it turned out to be a double date. WITH HIS PARENTS. And not like "oh we happened to bump into each other and decided to sit together." No. Turns out, he called them the second I said yes and ASKED them to come on a date with us. And so began the most painfully awkward night of my life…

Valentine's day is the day of love, and this year I decided to treat myself to a little self-love (the most important kind)! Especially after the craziness that was 2020, I think we've all earned the right to focus on self-pleasure. Plus, there are LOTS of health benefits to orgasms--they can relieve stress, cramps, headaches...they're kind of a cure-all. Why are doctors not prescribing them more?? In my quest to give my V the perfect V-day, I did quite a bit of searching and eventually settled on the Sweet Treat Spinnator toy from Satisfyer. I chose it (over a regular vibrator or a suction toy) based on its adorable design, its affordability, and its spinning mechanism that I was curious to try. If you want to learn more or if you just want to enjoy more jokes about my vagina, read on.

Since we established the wonderful concept of Galentine's Day, being single, flirty, and thriving never looked better. After all, brunching, baking, and boozing with the homies is quite the ideal way to spend your Sunday Funday. Within the warm embrace of your best buds, you may think you're safe and sound from the wrath of disappointing men, yet you would be oh, so wrong. Given today's modern forms of communication, if these men want to find you on Valentine's Day, rest assured, they will find you. And if you let them back into your cold heart, they very well might kill you too.

Certain men that will slide into your DMs on V-day are of a different breed. And not in a good way. As the great Lil Wayne once passionately rapped, "love is in the air, so I hold my breath till my face turns purple." Best to hold your breath, lock up your heart - not to mention all your doors -  and avoid the following men like the plague.

Valentines Day is just around the corner. If you're currently single, this day will only highlight just how alone you feel. Unless, of course, you're choosing not to be in a relationship, in which case then that too, is the reason that I am single. At least that's what I tell my mom. But if you're single because of other reasons (why doesn't anybody want me?!), then these memes are for you. All the single ladies, put your hands up!

Okay, it's incredibly easy to make fun of Valentine's day. The holiday has no real historic purpose, and really only benefits consumerism. If you're in a committed relationship there is an immense amount of pressure to behave a certain way on this random day to 'prove your love' or whatever. If you're not really dating, but seeing someone,  it's just kind of awkward because you might not want to go so full-out so early on. If you're single, well, you get a whole day to really (over)think about that. 

It's almost Valentine's Day, and I'm getting ready for my yearly tradition: a scented bath, a bottle of vintage wine, feeding my crows and preparing the effigy of Clark Gable which I will burn in a forest with the rest of my coven as the clock strikes midnight and the spectre of St. Valentine bids us farewell. This is what we must do every year, as it is written. But recently I can't help wondering about the couple across the hall from my apartment. Charlotte and Mark have lived across from me for a few years now, and they're pretty nice and clearly in love, but they have some WEIRD traditions. I'm talking sh*t that you only see in movies, like going to the store to buy food instead of summoning it from the great beyond, or using electricity instead of lighting candles. Who doesn't use candles?? Anyway, I've just been thinking about all the crazy stuff they probably do for Valentine's day. Like…

Valentine's day is just around the corner, and what better way to celebrate than by finally confessing to your crush? You know, your crush Matt who doesn't know you exist because you carefully stay hidden when you watch him through his windows with binoculars? It's time for him to meet the love of his life: you. Nothing is more romantic than a heartfelt letter on his doorstep handmade with words cut out of magazines and pasted to paper—it's creative and it won't lead back to you! Until you want it to, that is. You already know all of his interests and friends from hacking his social media, so it'll be easy to say something that will instantly stop his heart! Er, melt his heart. Here are some ideas!

Let's be real. Whether you like it or not Valentine's day is coming up quickly. Yes, we're are in the midst of a global pandemic, but that doesn't mean you cannot make February 14th your B. Options may be limited, but there are still plenty of ways to go off and show Saint Valentine who's boss. Who needs a man when there are heart-shaped pizzas out there that can fill you up without unleashing their emotional baggage on you? Here are fourteen ways to thoroughly smash your first (and hopefully last) social distancing Valentine's day as the single queen that you are. 

Ah, Valentine's Day. Depending on your current relationship status you may see it as a joyful day used to commemorate love, or a fabricated corporate scheme that blew the F up. Whichever stance you take, the day is coming up SOON. So we may as well have some fun looking at these design fails. Considering these manufacturers barely proofread many of these products, perhaps we should all use this as a reminder to not take the day so seriously either.

If you don't have a partner, then you know what to expect for Valentine's Day: nothing. 

But if you are with someone, hopefully, you'll have a romantic day full of chocolate, heart, and love. But life doesn't always go to plan and for some people, Valentine's Day turned out to be far from the romantic day they had planned. These horror stories show that sometimes life can throw you a curveball when you least expect it; from being dumped via text, or getting food poisoning at your date's house, these tales will make you feel better about yourself whether you're single or attached.

Happy Valentine's Day! Today we celebrate love in all forms and it's a beautiful thing. When it comes to the love department, one source of inspiration I like to turn to is my favorite sitcom, "The Office". Not only is it is brilliantly genius, but a lesser-known fact about the show is how many pearls of wisdom on love and relationships it actually contains. Here are some of the most profound quotes from Michael Scott and his crew that teach us all the important lessons we need to know about love.

Oh and if you love the Dunder Mifflin crew as much as me, check out our previous post on Couples From "The Office" Who Inspire True Love?

Relationships aren't what they used to be. Somehow TV love seemed purer back in the '90s; something that was longer-lasting. I guess that's because there wasn't Tinder back then to screw everything up. As Valentine's Day approaches, let's use this Throwback Thursday to cast our minds back to a time when sitcoms showed true and lasting love in all its glory.

"Is there a typo in the title? Don't you mean Valentine's Day", I'm hearing you ask? 

Nope - Galentine's Day is a concept, or holiday, created by Leslie Knope from Parks and Rec. It takes place on February 13, when, in her words, "My lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home, and we just come and kick it, breakfast-style. Ladies celebrating ladies. It's like Lilith Fair, minus the angst. Plus frittatas." 

So basically, it's a time for us babes to kick it back at brunch while celebrating ourselves and each other, and telling Valentine's Day to do one. Sounds pretty good to me! In the spirit of this great day, here are some of the best Galentine's Day tweets on the internet; inspired by Leslie Knope's genius, empowering women the world over, and giving strong female friendships the credit they deserve. 

The world of dating and relationships is an absolute minefield. Between mustering up the strength to go on yet another Bumble date and trying your hardest to not f*ck it up if you manage to find someone you like and who likes you, it's a lot of work. Love certainly isn't for the faint-hearted. No one can really prove whether women have it harder than men, but the female population certainly has their own set of struggles. In honor of Valentine's Day coming up, here are some all-too-relatable tweets that accurately describe the world of love, dating and everything in between for women.