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women's weekly funny horoscope | thumbnail Text - Saggítarius (Nov 22 Dec 21) This holiday season, you intend to be the gift. Whatever is on his list, you'll do it. Slutty Santa's Helper? Rudolph the Raunchy Reindeer? Christmas Tree Gone Wild? Ride that sleigh to town, girl!

Your Nonsense Christmas Horoscopes (December 20 - December 27)

Because astrology is cheaper than therapy
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women's weekly funny horoscope | thumbnail image of woman pointing Text - Weekly Horoscopes Because astrology is cheaper than therapy

Your Weekly Nonsense Horoscope (November 30 - December 6)

Because astrology is cheaper than therapy
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weekly women's funny horoscope | thumbnail Aries The sun moves to Jupiter this week, sprinkling some extra boldness and spontaneity into your spirit. Instead of obsessing over Mr. Dashing, Dark, & Handsome, slide into those DMs

Written In The Stars: Your Weekly Horoscope (November 16 - 22)

Because astrology is cheaper than therapy
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horoscope, zodiac, satire, February, satirical, stars, prediction, star sign | your 100% factually accurate horoscope written in the stars capricorn aquarius pisces aries taurus gemini cancer leo virgo libra scorpio saggitarius

Your 100% Factually (Maybe) Accurate February Horoscopes

Satirical horoscopes based on absolutely nothing
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