red flag

Everybody has their own lists of turn-on's and turn-off's, we can't all be into the same things, that would be hella boring. We shouldn't use these as rules in relationships, however, it would probably be useful to know a couple of someone's deal-breakers before starting up with them, they might be really simple things to avoid. Plus, you could probably tell more about a person from their dislikes more than their likes sometimes. For instance, if a guy hates feminism, you better run in the opposite direction.

We all have our deal-breakers when it comes to dating. There are just certain things that make us go, "Oh, no no no. Seriously, no. No thank you." But usually, those are the obvious red flags that you can realize on the first date. Unfortunately, there are other major turn-offs that don't appear until specific situations. If you dated someone all throughout this past year, you may not know how terrible they are to waiters, since no restaurants were open. But once you see them in that negative light, well there's no going back.

First dates can come with all kinds of interesting questions. And sometimes one of those questions is, 'have you ever been arrested? Sure, some people may have the ubiquitous underage drinking ticket or drunk and disorderly conduct, but sometimes the answer is well...really fucking scary! We teamed up with dating blog The Single Society to bring you the stories of when an awkward first date shared the rather sinister reasons they were arrested and ultimately a major red flag. Do YOU have a bad/funny dating story? Spill the tea. 

We all have certain sayings that make us cringe. It's hard to look at someone in the same way after they say something like, "All of my ex-girlfriends are completely insane" or, "Feminists take it way too far." Like calm down Chad, nobody asked. These also tend to be the same kind of people who complain about being way too nice and use that to explain why people don't like them. Oops, sorry to call you out if this sounds like you. Luckily these are only red flags to some people, eventually, we should be able to find people who don't see our behavior as cringy, and continue to get to know us regardless.

We all have icks. The things that turn us away from someone almost instantly. They can feel like the most random things, and if they really do end an entire relationship, it usually means there were more actual underlying issues. Still, it is funny to think someone completely blew their shot once they held their knife like a pencil. It's so specific and ridiculous, yet relatable. Once you get the ick and the butterflies have fully vanished, there's no going back — it's time to move on.

Another day, another toxic relationship posted on Reddit's infamous "Am I The A$$hole?" thread. This week, we got an abusive man-child on our hands. The original poster shared her tale about how she had already cooked a huge meal for her fiance and was eating her own food later on when he asked if she'd share her food with him. When she said no but offered him leftovers in the fridge, he spat on her food to claim it as his own. When she threw it out anyways, he demanded an apology for not giving it to him. So many red flags. It's pretty crystal clear who the a$$hole is here, but what do y'all think? Read on for more context. 

As the wise Jordin Sparks once sang, "why does love always feel like a battlefield?" More genius lyrics have never been sung. Sometimes, first dates feel like a literal battlefield. A Redditor started a thread and asked Reddit men about the worst things women have ever said to them on dates, and the responses range from super hilarious to super harsh. Scroll down for this horrific battlefield of first-date statements. 

Financial discrepancies in relationships can be quite difficult to maneuver around sometimes. Does somebody pay more rent? Does every meal get split 50/50, or perhaps 60/40? Obviously, when you're truly in love with someone, these minor details wouldn't get in the way so much and cause too many issues. As long as both people make a living, money is just money after all.

But what happens when it is the woman who makes more money? Oh no! How could it be? She must have 'cheated the system...'

We've all committed some sketchy things as teens, but there's sketchy and then there's insanely sketchy to the extent that it probably shouldn't be legal. A Redditor started a thread about things that are legal but raise so many red flags that they shouldn't be, and some of the stuff people brought up is funny and concerning at the same time. Check 'em out below, and share your own thoughts about this sketchy thread in the comments. 

Starting a new job can be really stressful. You don't know anyone, you might not be 100% clear on your duties, and it can just feel like everyone is waiting for you to mess up. Not every job starts out like this, but for some reason for every service industry job I've had, that description feels pretty spot on. It can take a while before you see the red flags in your job. You might be exploited for years before you realize, and that's the tea.

Here are some people who just knew day one, "This sh*t ain't for me."

There are so many signs that someone is a complete d**che. It doesn't have to be huge, they can be found in the way they react to things, or their political opinions, or their lack of politeness in most settings. In any case, it's super annoying. Why people choose to behave in these ways, we may never understand. But at least we have a Reddit thread that we can use to call them out. Who knows? Maybe there will be some changes made. (Probably not).

We are often very picky when it comes to choosing our potential partners. We go on multiple dates, wait to open up, and often ask other people for advice on whether the relationship is healthy. For whatever reason, we do not go to this extent for friendships as well. A lot of the time friendships come out of straight convenience, and it might be because I'm a bit of an over-sharer but I definitely do not wait to make sure I can fully trust them before I get into some deep topics with friends.

Just like in romantic relationships, there are definitely red flags in friendships that you don't always see. Luckily, people are pointing them out on Reddit.

Women are very perceptive. When she sees a man's place for the first time, there isn't a lot that goes unnoticed. Of course, this can be very unnerving for men. But this shouldn't stop them from inviting us over, they would be surprised at how much we notice, but still don't cancel them for. Little things like dirty dishes, unfolded laundry, and messy cabinets are to be expected — we are all still slowly figuring out how to adult. However, there are some things that scream "GET OUT, NOW."

Some things are simply too much, and this Reddit thread outlines a few of the best ones.

Anyone who is in or has been in a relationship will know that love isn't always easy. Everyone comes with baggage (although some suitcases are way bigger than others), and therapy can often help couples get through the more challenging times or specific issues they may be facing. But sometimes, even therapy isn't enough to salvage a relationship and push past specific glaring red flags. Professional relationship therapists shared on Reddit some of the giant red flags they've seen in couples who come in for sessions and whether or not the relationship can survive these issues. Some of them are genuinely eye-opening and might make you feel less alone in your relationship struggles. Or, they might spur you to book that therapy appointment you've been avoiding.