november

Favorite

Your Weekly Nonsense Horoscope (December 13 - December 20)

Another week, another plan set out for you in the stars. The end of 2020 is near, and you gotta be prepared for the next chapter of your story. Naturally, your horoscopes have you covered for whatever may come your way.


women's weekly funny horoscope | thumbnail image of woman pointing Text - Weekly Horoscopes Because astrology is cheaper than therapy | Taurus gonna hook up with couple Benjamins this week. Meaning purse is gonna be BRIMMING with cash.
View Article
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Your Weekly Nonsense Horoscope (November 30 - December 6)

December's officially here! Thank the heavens - 2020 is almost over! Bundle up in your coziest blankets, grab a warm cup of hot cocoa, and dream about what 2021 has in store for you. What a bright time, it's the right time to rock the night away aaaand to read up on your horoscopes. 

women's weekly funny horoscope | thumbnail image of woman pointing Text - Weekly Horoscopes Because astrology is cheaper than therapy
View Article
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Advertisement
Favorite

Written In The Stars: Thanksgiving Weekly Horoscope (November 23 - 29)

This Thanksgiving season, give thanks to your friends, family, co-workers, and that one fuckboy from your past - all of which made you stronger in different ways.  Give thanks for making it this far in the midst of a global pandemic. But most of all, give thanks to the stars. Seriously, where the hell would we be without them? Read on to see what the stars have in store for you this week.


women's weekly funny horoscope | thumbnail Text - Taurus Dollar signs are on the horizon this week - but only if you're not shy about it. Whether its asking for a promotion at work, or your sugar daddy to increase your weekly allowance, people are feeling more generous this Thanksgiving weekend.
View Article
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Written In The Stars: Your Weekly Horoscope (November 16 - 22)

When Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone passionately sang "City of Stars" in La La Land, they were obviously singing about how the stars align for you. This week, may the cosmos be ever in your favor. 

weekly women's funny horoscope | thumbnail Aries The sun moves to Jupiter this week, sprinkling some extra boldness and spontaneity into your spirit. Instead of obsessing over Mr. Dashing, Dark, & Handsome, slide into those DMs
View Article
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Favorite

Written In The Stars: Your Weekly Horoscope (November 9 - 15)

2020 has been an absolute dumpster fire. Because everything else seems to be out of whack at the moment, let's turn to the universe itself for guidance. When in doubt, Zodiac-it-out. Take a deep breath, grab a warm cup of tea, and check out if the stars align for you this week. 

Weekly women's funny horoscope | thumbnail Go (Scorpio) shorty - it's your birthday month! Even though it's your special tim of the year, you may also encounter assholes who are trying to mess with your birthda vibes. If their sh*tty attitudes persist, stay true, and swiftly tel them to shut the f*ck up | Libra The sun will be blocked by Neptune in Pisces, so prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions. To prevent a complete meltdown, cut down on the crap in your life. Eliminate toxic frenemies
View Article
  • -
  • Vote
  • -