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Mostly Nonsense, But Kind Of Accurate Weekly Horoscopes (February 1 - 7, 2021)


A new month marks the start of something new up in the sky. Has everything been out of whack lately? The stars are rearranging once again, and this time around, they just might align in your favor. Hop on my horoscopes spaceship and read on to find out if the universe is working with or against you this week.


women's weekly funny horoscope January 2021 | thumbnail Text - Weekly NO Nonsense Horoscopes Because astrology is cheaper than therapy | Cancer thought finally found perfect no-strings-attached relationship, but looks like FWB has caught feels Unfortunately far being on same page, so 's time jump ship before this hookup entirely destroys friendship beyond repair.
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Mostly Nonsense, But Kind Of Accurate Weekly Horoscopes (January 25 - 31, 2021)

City of stars, are you shining just for us? Hell yes, they are! Forealz, what the hell would we do without the trusty universe to guide us into our obscure futures? We would be more lost than we already are, which is pretty difficult to fathom. So come on, vamonos, everybody let's go for a ride into the cosmos together! 

women's weekly funny horoscope January 2021| thumbnail Text - Cancer (June 21 - July 22) You've heard the word "no" so often recently that it's obnoxious at this point. But this is the week you've been waiting for - the week of YES! Expect to hear it everywhere and everywhere - YES to that promotion, YES to those vacation days, and SO MUCH YES in bed.
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Mostly Nonsense, But Kind Of Accurate Weekly Horoscopes (January 18 - 24, 2021)


I bet you have no idea what's flying this week. It's all good because neither do I. Luckily, we can always rely on the stars and planets of the universe for guidance. Because when you follow the cosmos, everything will magically fall into place. So hop on my spaceship and ride into infinity and beyond with me!



women's weekly funny horoscope January 2021 | thumbnail Text - Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19) In honor of the last hurrah of your birthday month, rev up your energy engines! In addition to working on many different projects simultaneously, you should be working on many different guys simultaneously too, because according to the stars, the more the merrier.
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Your Nonsense New Years Horoscopes (December 27 - January 3)

Cheers to New Years! Not just any new year - 2021. The year that marks the end of 2020 AKA hell on Earth as we know it. 2020 brought us a global pandemic, social unrest, travel bans, and even murder hornets at one point. Truly a shitty surprise on every corner. We can only go up from here, ladies & gents. I think. Are you there, cosmos? It's me. The horoscope princess. And I'm begging you to make 2021 a damn good year. Or even mediocre would be good enough.

As we dive headfirst into another year, let's turn to the stars for desperately needed guidance.



women's weekly funny horoscope | thumbnail Text - Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You've had your eyes set on a sexy m. someone for months, but my, oh, my, looks like the boy's too shy, ain't gonna kiss the girl. Time to call the shots on your end - when the clock strikes 12, throw yourself into his arms, and let that midnight magic wash over the two of you. Cl
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Your Nonsense Christmas Horoscopes (December 20 - December 27)

It's that time of the year for holiday cheer! We didn't think we'd make it this far, but 2020 is full of surprises. The fact that we actually made it this far is a sign that the stars just might be on our side… right?

Santa baby, we've been awfully questionable good girls this year. Think of all the fun we've missed, think of all the fellas we haven't kissed. Next year we'll be oh, so good if you hook us up with somewhat of a sense of normalcy? When you hurry down the chimney tonight, can you deliver optimistic horoscopes? Is that too much to ask for? A girl can dream. Buckle up with an ugly Christmas sweater and a warm cup of eggnog, because 'tis the season to be jolly as f*ck with these holiday horoscopes.



women's weekly funny horoscope | thumbnail Text - Saggítarius (Nov 22 Dec 21) This holiday season, you intend to be the gift. Whatever is on his list, you'll do it. Slutty Santa's Helper? Rudolph the Raunchy Reindeer? Christmas Tree Gone Wild? Ride that sleigh to town, girl!
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Tweets That Would Be Nonsense In 2019 But Make Sense In 2020

2020 has been quite a year, to say the least, and everyone has had to adjust to new realities. One thing that is for sure, is that we're saying things now that would have made no sense if we'd have said them in 2019, which goes to show how much things can change in six months. Check out these tweets about things we might have said in the past six months, that had we said them back in 2019 (which seems so long ago), people would have looked at us like we were crazy. 

tweets that would make no sense in 2019 but make sense in 2020 - cover photo pre schooler zoom meeting | Quaran-Teacher Mom @funnymomlife Replying adamgreattweet and @Divergentmama "Hey got go. My preschooler has Zoom meeting few minutes
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